Boy how things change when you have children. It seems like such a cliché statement but every word of the sentence is true. Matt and I went on a long overdue date this weekend and I realized that we are so out of tune with our “old” lifestyle. We have left our DINK way of life (Double Income No Kids). Prior to having Harper it was not uncommon for us to eat dinner out 4-5 nights per week. We knew all of the great hotspots and most weekends our evenings didn’t even get started until after 8 or 9 pm. We never batted an eye on menu prices or drink prices. Now, most of the time, I am reading the backs of my eyelids by 9pm and we are looking for the early bird specials!
Matt’s parents were very gracious to give us a night off while Matt and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for an early Valentine’s Day dinner. A place that we use to be persistent customers and even use to receive complimentary gift certificates because we accumulated lots of frequent diner points for eating there so often. Because the place gets packed on the weekends, we left our house around 5:45 pm eager to have a night out alone. Even at this early of an hour, we arrived with a 1 ½ hour wait. Back in the day, we would have gone to back to the bar for a few drinks with friends and the time would have passed by so quickly. But, these days our patience level for waiting so long wasn’t what it use to be. So, we opted for first come, first serve counter seating after about 15 minutes – which is a great place to people watch and get good ideas for what to order.
After browsing the menu, we both had selected our favorites – I got fresh Halibut with rice and clam chowder and Matt got fried jumbo shrimp with salad and rice. Although price did jump off the page more so than in the past, we vowed to not think about money since it had been so long since we had treated ourselves to a nice night out. Since we were so early for dinner, we were able to take advantage of the early bird pricing anyway which was a nice surprise.
We had so much fun talking and laughing without having to worry about keeping Harper seated in his high chair or having to entertain him while the other one did the talking. Although, most of the time, we found that our conversation centered on Harper and BB – but, it was still nice to have an uninterrupted conversation.
When our dinner arrived, our conversation nearly ceased and we put almost 100% focus on eating our delicious meal. After 20 or so minutes we both looked up and realized that we had eaten every morsel of food on our plates. We laughed and chalked it up to the fact that it had been a VERY long time since we had had a meal that was so good. Normally we would have split our favorite dessert – Raspberry Almond Torte – but instead, we opted to get our own because after all, it was a special occasion and we were both in no mood to share. As with dinner, the only thing left on our dessert plates were crumbs. I’m sure our waitress must have thought that neither of us had eaten in a few days – or maybe we just had that look of a socially deprived parent on our faces.
After paying the bill, we realized it was only 7:20 pm! What were we going to do with a few hours to kill? A few years ago, we would have felt that the night was young and we would have had a list a mile long of things that we could do. But instead, we were like two awkward adults in a foreign land – what do we do, where do we go? Had it really been that long since we had a night out that we had totally forgotten what adults do without children? After driving around for a bit, we decided to go walk around at the outdoor shopping mall and visit the bookstore. Once there, we were like two lost pups trying to find our way around the dark. The bookstore seemed odd since neither of us have picked up a book without rhyming sentences or Sesame Street characters in a long time. We both wandered aimlessly in and out of the aisles trying to find something to catch our attention – of course, I found myself spending most of the time at the children’s table trying to see which of the books Harper didn’t own yet.
By about 8:30, we were both so tired that we decided to call it a night. Plus, walking around on concrete is not what I call fun now that I am at the end of the second trimester. Between my back hurting and my eyelids becoming heavy we decided to return home. It was fun having a night out together, but we did realize that nothing will ever be the same. We are motivated by different things, our priorities are in a different place and our minds our consumed by our children (both born and unborn). We see the world through a different set of lenses – yet it is fun to cherish some time alone on occasions such as these but it is also fun to return home and wrap your arms around your little one (even when they are sleeping!).
When people tell you that life will be different, they are so right and yet you could have never predicted how. But, I think “different” is defined by each individual and you will never know what “different” will be until you are there. I am the first to admit that our lives are now very kid-centered, but I also won’t lie that a little alone time with Matt is a much needed treasure every now and again. But, like most parents will tell you, your thoughts and conversation while you are alone still seem to gravitate back to the kids. So, I guess this is our new reality of a date or time alone…. Different but honestly it seems more fulfilling!
In closing I thought I would give a brief update of how the pregnancy is going. I am now going into my 27th week and I feel like my spine has been replaced by a steel rod, my inner thighs feel like I have been doing splits all day and my heartburn feels as if someone dropped an alcohol soaked rag down in my gut. Other than that, BB is still active as ever – I swear he is going to be a rambunctious and active child because he is continually providing swift kicks throughout the day – especially when I eat something sugary (which is with most of my meals!). It is becoming harder to get a good nights rest and even harder to “hip” Harper with my big belly pooching out. I’m starting to look like a barefoot and pregnant stereotype. But, my spirits are high, my attitude is good and most importantly I think we have settled on a name. If you will recall in a previous blog, the only name we could agree on was one that we would be “stealing” from another child at Harper’s daycare. I am happy to report that I ran into the mother today and asked for her permission in using the name. To my surprise, she was happy to share and she even provided me with the name’s origin and meaning. I almost felt like I got a bargain on that one. The name is under wraps for now – I think we might keep it a surprise. But, if you know me – I hate surprises and secrets so who knows I might have to share in the coming weeks!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Our Little Samurai!
I have gained 8 pounds in one month. That is roughly 2 pounds per week and trust me, I can feel the difference between this month and last. I am going into my 26th week and have gained a total of 15 pounds. Pretty good considering that BB is already well over a pound and a half himself and over 12 inches long! Of course, the chocolate covered Dove ice-cream bars that I have been eating on occasion has surely contributed to this gain as well. But, they make BB happy so I have to eat them .
This week I had another ultrasound and I also had my monthly doctor’s visit. The ultrasound was great because I was finally able to confirm what I have been saying for the last month and a half. I do have an active and accomplished samurai / acrobat in my belly. The ultrasonographer could not stop laughing during the appointment because BB was putting on such a show! He would do 360 degree turns both sideways and forwards for the entire ½ hour that I was there. So, my perception that I have a baby that is continuously kicking the crap out of my insides is true – I witnessed it on the screen first hand. In addition, BB successfully showed us that he is all boy. About midway through the appointment, he reached down and grabbed his wee-wee. I think he just wanted to remind me that he is full of testosterone! We both had a great chuckle. The sonogram went well and they were able to get all of the appropriate measurements they needed. The ultrasonographer said that in her opinion we have a very healthy and VERY active baby that is developing. Before leaving, she told me to get plenty of rest over the next several months because if her predictions are correct, I am not going to get very much rest after his arrival! Matt and I keep asking ourselves if it is possible that BB could be more active than Harper. I think we are going to have our hands full and constantly be entertained for the next 18 years and beyond!
My doctor’s appointment went very well, too. BB’s heart rate is strong, my blood pressure is great and I am still feeling good given the circumstances. Dr. Sharp did give us a wake up call that this appointment was our last one before I enter my third and final trimester….. UGH – where has time gone! I have one more monthly appointment and then I start seeing the doctor every other week. He also reminded us that, although rare, premature labor can happen and we are entering the time where the baby can live outside of the womb. So, he slipped us the phone number to the University of Utah’s Labor and Deliver along with signs and symptoms to be aware of for premature labor. Although I don’t anticipate needing it anytime soon, I still input it into my cell phone memory just in case.
In ending this week, I wanted to share my most recent embarrassing moment that may or may not be related to pregnancy. But, I would like to think I would be more careful in a “normal” state of mind. Yesterday, I went to our work cafeteria to order a grilled ham and cheese and french fries with fry sauce. (For those of you who do not live in Utah you will probably be saying what the heck is “fry sauce”? Well it is a concoction that Utahans eat with their fries, instead of ketchup, that is pretty damn tasty. When you first move here, you swear that you will never eat it, but ten years later you travel outside of the state and wonder why the rest of the country hasn’t picked up on what a great combo fry sauce is with French fries – it is simply a half and half pinkish mixture of mayonnaise and ketchup that is used for dipping. In some “specialty” restaurants, BBQ sauce and mayo might be used – which is just as tasty.) Sorry for the digression but I thought it warranted an explanation.
Anyway, while waiting on my fries and sandwich I pumped heaping portions of fry sauce into two dipping cups. Once I got my plate, I placed the filled dipping cups on top of my food and headed out to the tables to salt my fries before returning to my office. When I had gone about 10-15 yards to a table to get the salt, two gentleman got my attention from across the room. They said “mam you have fry sauce dripping all down the front of you.” When I looked down, I wanted to laugh, cry and crawl under a table at the same time. Sure enough, I had this pinkish mixture dripping from my belly to my shoes and there was a flow coming from my plate only adding to the current mess. As I tried to keep my composure and get myself cleaned up, another gentleman had gotten up from his seat and was cleaning up the trail of fry sauce that I had left from the cash register to where I was standing. It was everywhere!!!!….. I had this thought that people were probably staring and thinking “the poor pregnant girl – look how clumsy. I guess that is what she deserves for feeding her unborn baby such an “un-nutritionally” balanced meal.”
Once I was able to get myself and the floor cleaned up (with the help of the very nice gentleman), I rushed back to my office to hide. I felt like the biggest, pregnant, messiest slob! I convinced myself that this would have never happened if I weren’t pregnant – and it probably wouldn’t have because I don’t think I could have ever been hungry enough to order food from our yucky cafeteria and I wouldn’t have been greedy enough to try and fill both of my 2 tablespoon dipping cups with 1/3 cups of fry sauce each! Oh well, this is what happens when you are pregnant – food is so enticing that you are oblivious when it is dripping all down your front. You only have one thing on your mind – “I’m starving and when can I eat?” – your dignity seems to be an afterthought!
This week I had another ultrasound and I also had my monthly doctor’s visit. The ultrasound was great because I was finally able to confirm what I have been saying for the last month and a half. I do have an active and accomplished samurai / acrobat in my belly. The ultrasonographer could not stop laughing during the appointment because BB was putting on such a show! He would do 360 degree turns both sideways and forwards for the entire ½ hour that I was there. So, my perception that I have a baby that is continuously kicking the crap out of my insides is true – I witnessed it on the screen first hand. In addition, BB successfully showed us that he is all boy. About midway through the appointment, he reached down and grabbed his wee-wee. I think he just wanted to remind me that he is full of testosterone! We both had a great chuckle. The sonogram went well and they were able to get all of the appropriate measurements they needed. The ultrasonographer said that in her opinion we have a very healthy and VERY active baby that is developing. Before leaving, she told me to get plenty of rest over the next several months because if her predictions are correct, I am not going to get very much rest after his arrival! Matt and I keep asking ourselves if it is possible that BB could be more active than Harper. I think we are going to have our hands full and constantly be entertained for the next 18 years and beyond!
My doctor’s appointment went very well, too. BB’s heart rate is strong, my blood pressure is great and I am still feeling good given the circumstances. Dr. Sharp did give us a wake up call that this appointment was our last one before I enter my third and final trimester….. UGH – where has time gone! I have one more monthly appointment and then I start seeing the doctor every other week. He also reminded us that, although rare, premature labor can happen and we are entering the time where the baby can live outside of the womb. So, he slipped us the phone number to the University of Utah’s Labor and Deliver along with signs and symptoms to be aware of for premature labor. Although I don’t anticipate needing it anytime soon, I still input it into my cell phone memory just in case.
In ending this week, I wanted to share my most recent embarrassing moment that may or may not be related to pregnancy. But, I would like to think I would be more careful in a “normal” state of mind. Yesterday, I went to our work cafeteria to order a grilled ham and cheese and french fries with fry sauce. (For those of you who do not live in Utah you will probably be saying what the heck is “fry sauce”? Well it is a concoction that Utahans eat with their fries, instead of ketchup, that is pretty damn tasty. When you first move here, you swear that you will never eat it, but ten years later you travel outside of the state and wonder why the rest of the country hasn’t picked up on what a great combo fry sauce is with French fries – it is simply a half and half pinkish mixture of mayonnaise and ketchup that is used for dipping. In some “specialty” restaurants, BBQ sauce and mayo might be used – which is just as tasty.) Sorry for the digression but I thought it warranted an explanation.
Anyway, while waiting on my fries and sandwich I pumped heaping portions of fry sauce into two dipping cups. Once I got my plate, I placed the filled dipping cups on top of my food and headed out to the tables to salt my fries before returning to my office. When I had gone about 10-15 yards to a table to get the salt, two gentleman got my attention from across the room. They said “mam you have fry sauce dripping all down the front of you.” When I looked down, I wanted to laugh, cry and crawl under a table at the same time. Sure enough, I had this pinkish mixture dripping from my belly to my shoes and there was a flow coming from my plate only adding to the current mess. As I tried to keep my composure and get myself cleaned up, another gentleman had gotten up from his seat and was cleaning up the trail of fry sauce that I had left from the cash register to where I was standing. It was everywhere!!!!….. I had this thought that people were probably staring and thinking “the poor pregnant girl – look how clumsy. I guess that is what she deserves for feeding her unborn baby such an “un-nutritionally” balanced meal.”
Once I was able to get myself and the floor cleaned up (with the help of the very nice gentleman), I rushed back to my office to hide. I felt like the biggest, pregnant, messiest slob! I convinced myself that this would have never happened if I weren’t pregnant – and it probably wouldn’t have because I don’t think I could have ever been hungry enough to order food from our yucky cafeteria and I wouldn’t have been greedy enough to try and fill both of my 2 tablespoon dipping cups with 1/3 cups of fry sauce each! Oh well, this is what happens when you are pregnant – food is so enticing that you are oblivious when it is dripping all down your front. You only have one thing on your mind – “I’m starving and when can I eat?” – your dignity seems to be an afterthought!
Monday, January 22, 2007
What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be?
Well before starting into the answer to my question I have to apologize for some incorrect information in my previous blog posting. I have to say I truly appreciate the number of you who are reading and screening my postings for accuracy.
Last week at the end of my blog I said that I have 3 months to go before having the baby. I received several calls and several impromptu conversations questioning my math. Actually, the baby is due in 4 months. For those of you who have been through the process of pregnancy you will understand how I got to this error. All of our lives we are taught that humans have a gestational period of 9 months..right? Well, when you get pregnant, that logic goes out the window – you begin to track your pregnancy on a 10 month calendar (which is based on your LMP – look it up for all the guys who have no clue what LMP is.)
So, I am 24 weeks pregnant this week, which seems to translate to 6 months if Mrs. Short taught me how to multiply correctly. But, I forgot to say that this number is based on the 10 month calendar that you are forced to use when pregnant. So, since I am pregnant for 40 weeks, I still have 16 more weeks to go (roughly about 4 months). The baby shouldn’t actually come in April – instead, my due date remains steadfast at May 17th. I just needed to get that off my chest, just in case any of you decide to quite reading my blog because you think I exaggerate too much!
Now to my question of the week – What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be?
I really had the opportunity to reflect on this over the last week since my parents were here visiting from Virginia. Plus, over the 17 months of parenting Harper, Matt and I have contemplated this very question many times. I think if I were to rewind to early 2005, I would have a very different answer than now. I remember saying “ this baby is coming into our world so it will need to adjust to the things that Matt and I currently do.” WRONG! Before having Harper, we were convinced that we could still have many late nights out with friends, host parties just like we use to and maintain our very active social life. Well, as of August 2005, this notion has changed drastically. Of course, Matt and I could still do all of these things but we have made a conscious choice not to… most of the time.
When you have a child, your life changes. I think those changes are very individual based upon you as a person and the relationship you have with your spouse.
While my parents were here visiting, I had the opportunity to reflect upon my own childhood and have decided that I would like to be a parent much like the way my parents parented me (with a few exceptions!).
Hands On Approach – My parents were both very hands on with us. I don’t ever recall having a babysitter outside of an aunt or grandparent when I was younger. Of course, I see nothing wrong with getting a babysitter on occasion but mom took the approach that there was nothing that couldn’t be done with three kids at your side. Now that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t sometimes difficult, but she loved having us around (and she acts like still does). I have very vivid memories of playing tea party with my mom and her telling us goodnight stories every night before going to bed. When dad wasn’t working, he wanted to make sure that he spent lots of time with us. He taught us how to ride our bikes and let us experience the world with our hands and not just with our eyes. My parents were always comfortable with giving us “public displays of affection” and saying "I love you". Even to this day, there isn’t a time that I get off the phone with mom or dad that they don’t say “I love you”. I saw this with Harper while mom and dad visited. Even when my mom sprained her ankle, she still wanted Harper to stay home from daycare to spend time with them and also to sleep with them at night. They both loved getting on the floor and playing with him at his level. This is one reason that Matt and I try not to make any plans during the week. Since Harper is in daycare all day, we really try hard to devote the rest of the evening playing one on one with him. Our free time is now his time – and we both get so much joy out of our interactions.
Appreciate the Small Things- This probably came out of the fact that we did not have a great deal of extra money when we were younger. My dad worked hard so that my mom could stay home with us, which often meant there wasn’t much room for the extras. But, looking back, some of my fondest memories are all the small things that didn’t cost anything. I remember my parents letting me invite over 10 or so friends to sleep in tents in the backyard and all of us girls getting very scared as soon as it went dark and dad coming out and sleeping in the tent with us. I remember dad hooking up a small wagon to the back of the lawn mower and taking all of us and the neighbor kids with our baby dolls on a “hay ride” and I remember always having bonfires in the backyard where we would roast marshmallows and hotdogs for no special occasion. I think the small things are what we remember. Of course, like any child, Harper has lots of fancy toys, but I think he likes it most when he can play with pots and pans, jump on the bed, and eat snow. I love taking him back to VA where things are a lot simpler and he can feed the animals in the barn, go on hayrides and experience a less fast paced life than he is exposed to on a daily basis in Salt Lake. In our busy world, it is so important to remember to stop and do these things. I truly believe that they build lasting memories and develop creativity.
Open / Honest Relationship- In the Collier house secrets were taboo. My parents probably told us too much rather than too little. Not too long ago, mom and I were talking about families with lots of skeletons in the closet and my mom said the most classic line. She said “you know, we have skeletons in our closet too, but we just take them out and play with them.” That is so true – like any family we have very weird things that have happened and still do but we have always been open and honest. My mom never kept anything from my dad. Of course when we were younger I think I would have preferred that she not share some things with dad – like bad grades or a sassy mouth – but mom always told dad! I like this approach now that I am older – I think openness is a cleansing process. Matt and I have always tried to be like this in our own relationship and want to continue this approach with the kids. I’m sure there will be lots of times where it would be easier for Matt to keep things from me or vice versa but I really think it is so much better to keep everyone in the know.
A Home Filled With Laughter- I truly live by the mantra that “laughter is the best medicine”. Growing up, I always remember sitting around the table with friends and family listening to old stories and laughing a lot. We were even good sports about laughing at ourselves. I have found in my adult life that finding a way to laugh in a difficult situation is one of the best ways to relieve stress. No matter how bad things can get, there is always something funny to be found. While Mom was visiting this past week, she fell down the stairs and sprained her ankle really bad. Now most normal families probably would not think this was funny, but within a ½ hour we were all trying to help mom get through the pain by finding things that were funny with the situation (probably more me than anyone!). Matt and I really want both Harper and BB to be surrounded by laughter and incorporate it in their own lives. So far, Harper is doing a great job because for the past several nights he has even been laughing in his sleep!
A Sparkle in My Eye- Above all, I want Harper and BB to see a sparkle in our eye when they are around. I want them to know they bring so much joy to our lives. Even growing up, I never got the feeling from my parents that they would rather be doing something else when they were with us. I’m sure in the back of their minds, there were many chores to complete, many projects to start and many errands to be run but I never knew it. This is the kind of parent I want to be. I want Harper and BB to know that there is nothing that can’t wait except for the time that we spend with them.
Of course, like everyone, my childhood wasn’t perfect. But as I look back, I really feel that my parents gave me a great foundation and I am who I am because of them. When I was younger I didn’t appreciate the fact that they expected me to do well in school, they wanted to know my friends and what we were doing, they made rules and enforced them and they demanded respect. But, now I see all of the reason why they did it. It built structure, character and independence. I just want to say thanks to mom and dad and I can only hope that my children will look at me as fondly and lovingly as I do both of them.
That is the kind of parent I want to be…….
Last week at the end of my blog I said that I have 3 months to go before having the baby. I received several calls and several impromptu conversations questioning my math. Actually, the baby is due in 4 months. For those of you who have been through the process of pregnancy you will understand how I got to this error. All of our lives we are taught that humans have a gestational period of 9 months..right? Well, when you get pregnant, that logic goes out the window – you begin to track your pregnancy on a 10 month calendar (which is based on your LMP – look it up for all the guys who have no clue what LMP is.)
So, I am 24 weeks pregnant this week, which seems to translate to 6 months if Mrs. Short taught me how to multiply correctly. But, I forgot to say that this number is based on the 10 month calendar that you are forced to use when pregnant. So, since I am pregnant for 40 weeks, I still have 16 more weeks to go (roughly about 4 months). The baby shouldn’t actually come in April – instead, my due date remains steadfast at May 17th. I just needed to get that off my chest, just in case any of you decide to quite reading my blog because you think I exaggerate too much!
Now to my question of the week – What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be?
I really had the opportunity to reflect on this over the last week since my parents were here visiting from Virginia. Plus, over the 17 months of parenting Harper, Matt and I have contemplated this very question many times. I think if I were to rewind to early 2005, I would have a very different answer than now. I remember saying “ this baby is coming into our world so it will need to adjust to the things that Matt and I currently do.” WRONG! Before having Harper, we were convinced that we could still have many late nights out with friends, host parties just like we use to and maintain our very active social life. Well, as of August 2005, this notion has changed drastically. Of course, Matt and I could still do all of these things but we have made a conscious choice not to… most of the time.
When you have a child, your life changes. I think those changes are very individual based upon you as a person and the relationship you have with your spouse.
While my parents were here visiting, I had the opportunity to reflect upon my own childhood and have decided that I would like to be a parent much like the way my parents parented me (with a few exceptions!).
Hands On Approach – My parents were both very hands on with us. I don’t ever recall having a babysitter outside of an aunt or grandparent when I was younger. Of course, I see nothing wrong with getting a babysitter on occasion but mom took the approach that there was nothing that couldn’t be done with three kids at your side. Now that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t sometimes difficult, but she loved having us around (and she acts like still does). I have very vivid memories of playing tea party with my mom and her telling us goodnight stories every night before going to bed. When dad wasn’t working, he wanted to make sure that he spent lots of time with us. He taught us how to ride our bikes and let us experience the world with our hands and not just with our eyes. My parents were always comfortable with giving us “public displays of affection” and saying "I love you". Even to this day, there isn’t a time that I get off the phone with mom or dad that they don’t say “I love you”. I saw this with Harper while mom and dad visited. Even when my mom sprained her ankle, she still wanted Harper to stay home from daycare to spend time with them and also to sleep with them at night. They both loved getting on the floor and playing with him at his level. This is one reason that Matt and I try not to make any plans during the week. Since Harper is in daycare all day, we really try hard to devote the rest of the evening playing one on one with him. Our free time is now his time – and we both get so much joy out of our interactions.
Appreciate the Small Things- This probably came out of the fact that we did not have a great deal of extra money when we were younger. My dad worked hard so that my mom could stay home with us, which often meant there wasn’t much room for the extras. But, looking back, some of my fondest memories are all the small things that didn’t cost anything. I remember my parents letting me invite over 10 or so friends to sleep in tents in the backyard and all of us girls getting very scared as soon as it went dark and dad coming out and sleeping in the tent with us. I remember dad hooking up a small wagon to the back of the lawn mower and taking all of us and the neighbor kids with our baby dolls on a “hay ride” and I remember always having bonfires in the backyard where we would roast marshmallows and hotdogs for no special occasion. I think the small things are what we remember. Of course, like any child, Harper has lots of fancy toys, but I think he likes it most when he can play with pots and pans, jump on the bed, and eat snow. I love taking him back to VA where things are a lot simpler and he can feed the animals in the barn, go on hayrides and experience a less fast paced life than he is exposed to on a daily basis in Salt Lake. In our busy world, it is so important to remember to stop and do these things. I truly believe that they build lasting memories and develop creativity.
Open / Honest Relationship- In the Collier house secrets were taboo. My parents probably told us too much rather than too little. Not too long ago, mom and I were talking about families with lots of skeletons in the closet and my mom said the most classic line. She said “you know, we have skeletons in our closet too, but we just take them out and play with them.” That is so true – like any family we have very weird things that have happened and still do but we have always been open and honest. My mom never kept anything from my dad. Of course when we were younger I think I would have preferred that she not share some things with dad – like bad grades or a sassy mouth – but mom always told dad! I like this approach now that I am older – I think openness is a cleansing process. Matt and I have always tried to be like this in our own relationship and want to continue this approach with the kids. I’m sure there will be lots of times where it would be easier for Matt to keep things from me or vice versa but I really think it is so much better to keep everyone in the know.
A Home Filled With Laughter- I truly live by the mantra that “laughter is the best medicine”. Growing up, I always remember sitting around the table with friends and family listening to old stories and laughing a lot. We were even good sports about laughing at ourselves. I have found in my adult life that finding a way to laugh in a difficult situation is one of the best ways to relieve stress. No matter how bad things can get, there is always something funny to be found. While Mom was visiting this past week, she fell down the stairs and sprained her ankle really bad. Now most normal families probably would not think this was funny, but within a ½ hour we were all trying to help mom get through the pain by finding things that were funny with the situation (probably more me than anyone!). Matt and I really want both Harper and BB to be surrounded by laughter and incorporate it in their own lives. So far, Harper is doing a great job because for the past several nights he has even been laughing in his sleep!
A Sparkle in My Eye- Above all, I want Harper and BB to see a sparkle in our eye when they are around. I want them to know they bring so much joy to our lives. Even growing up, I never got the feeling from my parents that they would rather be doing something else when they were with us. I’m sure in the back of their minds, there were many chores to complete, many projects to start and many errands to be run but I never knew it. This is the kind of parent I want to be. I want Harper and BB to know that there is nothing that can’t wait except for the time that we spend with them.
Of course, like everyone, my childhood wasn’t perfect. But as I look back, I really feel that my parents gave me a great foundation and I am who I am because of them. When I was younger I didn’t appreciate the fact that they expected me to do well in school, they wanted to know my friends and what we were doing, they made rules and enforced them and they demanded respect. But, now I see all of the reason why they did it. It built structure, character and independence. I just want to say thanks to mom and dad and I can only hope that my children will look at me as fondly and lovingly as I do both of them.
That is the kind of parent I want to be…….
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