Holy Toledo – I can’t believe it has been 3 months since my last posting. Boy how time flies (I just wish I could shed the baby weight as fast as the time has gone by!). Harper just celebrated his 2nd birthday on August 9th and Collier is officially 3 months old today!
I wasn’t sure if I would continue the blog after the birth of BB (officially known as Collier) but I have heard from many of you that you felt that I dropped the blog like a hot potato. Actually a few of you even said that you felt you were reading a book that never had a proper ending and that I should at least write a final posting. WOW! I am flattered that many of you were reading it so faithfully! So, no promises on where this blog will go, but I will at least give you a 3 month update!
What has changed?
• Balance - Whoever said that adding another kid to the mix isn’t all that bad should be checked for psychosis or drug addiction. In some ways, it truly is double the work – at least right now! The last three months have been a whirlwind of changing hundreds of poopy diapers! The problem with a second one is that someone is always getting the raw end of the deal. As the old saying goes, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” In our situation with the kids, it is the smelliest diaper gets changed first, the loudest cry gets the attention, the dirtiest child gets a bath, and so on and so on. So, it is inevitable that we are forgetting about the needs of one of the kids at any given time. Matt and I are constantly trying to ask each other – “When is the last time that Harper has eaten? Who changed Collier’s diaper last? How many days has it been since either kid has gotten a bath?”. This is not to mention trying to remember when Matt and I have eaten or gone to the bathroom.
• Sleeping Arrangements – As you will recall, prior to Collier’s arrival, Harper saw our bed as his bed. This was the case because he never slept a single night in his crib in his whole life! When Collier came along, we tried a few weeks of all of us sleeping together, but we found that the only ones getting sleep were Collier and the dogs. Everyone else was waking up throughout the night because of Collier’s grunting, feeding sessions or middle of the night diaper changes. So, we have begun to acclimate Harper to his new big boy room with fairly good success. Although this does mean that sometimes Matt will have to go into his room midway through the night and sleep with him to avoid him wanting to come back to our bed (on a couple of occasions though, Harper has tip toed out of the bed and down the hall without Matt’s knowing to sleep with Collier and I – sneaky little guy!).
• Wild man in tummy turns out to be gentle soul – Thankfully Collier is a wonderful baby. I think our stress level would be much higher if he were fussy or cranky. The child has the sweetest personality and hardly ever cries. In addition, he is a wonderful sleeper and has never kept us up even once during the night since he was born. I swear I’m not making this up! He just wakes up long enough to eat and then he is off to sleep (no rocking, bouncing or walking around is necessary). By two months he was already sleeping 5 to 6 hour stretches and as of this past week has slept as long as 8 full hours!
• Where did Harper go? – one of the main differences about having another kid is that your first kid seems to “grow up” as soon as you bring the new baby home. Overnight it seemed like he learned to say everything and do everything. As he approaches “the terrible 2’s”, I am noticing that the angel wings are shedding and a pitchfork has mysteriously appeared in his hands! It is amazing how things can be completely fine one minute and you can be in crisis mode the next – all over something as simple as giving him the wrong spoon (he wants the blue one, not the red one). At this stage, we are learning to become master mind readers and face readers – although that doesn’t always work either. In addition, he has picked up about a zillion new words in his vocabulary so he can definitely tell you when he is not happy. If we aren’t paying attention to him, he will just refer to us as Matt and Heather rather than daddy and mommy! Although he has been excellent with Collier, I think he is taking his aggression and “transitional” behavior out on his friends at daycare. Matt and I are just waiting for the day that we pick him up and they tell us that he has been expelled from the school. I have asked on numerous occasions if they have ever thrown anyone out and they constantly reassure me that they haven’t and that Harper’s behavior is typical for his age and the fact that he has a new brother at home. But, I am constantly looking at the ground as I pass all the other kid’s parents in the hallway in fear that they will corner me because Harper has lashed out at their child. Unfortunately, he has figured out that biting and hitting get him a great deal of attention – even if it is negative! As with everything else though, “this too shall pass!”. If you have any advice outside of sending him to a boarding school, let us know. There are days we feel pretty desperate!
• Traveling with kids sucks! No wonder people go on a strike from traveling until their kids can carry their own luggage! It wasn’t so bad with one, but now that each of us has to have our own child to manage, it becomes a whole new experience. Especially when there are flight delays AND cancellations. We spent about 10 hours in the Atlanta airport during the 4th of July weekend before our flight was finally cancelled. Nothing like going to a hotel to spend the night when you don’t have any luggage! Collier was the only one that didn’t suffer in any way – he slept almost the whole time, had clean diapers, a clean change of clothes and never missed a meal, since I am breastfeeding. Harper had clean diapers but everything else we had to “wing”. Although we are not big fans of loading him with sugar, the only thing we had in the diaper bag was gummy treats and trail mix for most of the day in the airport! After we got to the hotel Matt did walk to a gas station and buy Harper a hot dog which obviously was nowhere close to being nutritious. As you can guess, the ones that suffered the most were Matt and I – no toothbrush, no contact supplies, no comb or brush, no clean clothes or clean underwear…. The list goes on and on. If the flight back east with all of us together wasn’t enough, I was brave enough to extend my trip in VA which required me to fly back by myself with both of the kids….. I could probably write a whole blog on this experience!
• Returning to work from maternity leave wasn’t so bad-This time I was much less anxious about returning to work – actually I was kind of looking forward to it so that I could get back into a structured schedule. It is weird how work has now become my “alone time”. Although it was hard to drop Collier off at school for the first time, at least I knew he was in great hands and I knew that no matter what he would still be happy to see mommy and daddy at the end of the day. We love that Harper and Collier are just down the hall from each other and Harper’s teachers let him visit Collier several times during the day.
• Even with one more, there is enough love to go around- It is amazing the instant bond you feel with a new baby. The love for your kids is endless and unconditional. You care for them the same, you still worry even with the second one. And, I still spent a lot of my time on my maternity leave just watching Collier sleep, holding his little fingers and cradling him for hours at a time. This is all something that I wondered if you would do as much with the second one. But, the miracle of life is still overwhelming enough that it takes your breath away and sometimes all you can do is just stare and be thankful. So, I am happy to report that many hours of my maternity leave were spent doing just this. After all, they grow up so fast, as we have witnessed with Harper, and these moments need to be cherished.
So, as you can see there have been lots of changes. But, one thing still remains the same….We are absolutely in love with being parents and we see our children as gifts that have completely altered our lives for the better. Even among the craziness and stress, one smile, one hug, one kiss or one cuddle can bring it all full circle again.
Until next time……
