Sunday, November 25, 2007
The Real Meaning of Christmas
Like most Americans, we spent the weekend putting up our Christmas decorations. Among those was a kid's nativity set that Harper received from his grandparents last year as a gift. We pulled it out first so that Harper could play with it while we were decorating the house. He had great fun playing with it, but we realized quickly that we need to either start going to church or share the real meaning of Christmas when Harper came to us after misplacing the Christ Child from the set. He said, "Mommy, I can't find Baby Dangerous". I swear we told him his name was Jesus but I guess that is the way his 2 year old mind interpreted it.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Throwing in the Flag
We have flown fairly regularly since the kids were born and for the most part, those flights have been fairly easy with no major tantrums. Yes, they are often inconvenient and stressful due to all the crap we have to bring and trying to diaper the kids mid-flight in a room the size of a linen closet, but I have been very pleased that after each flight people always comment how well Harper (and most recently) Collier have behaved on the flights. Well, that notion just went to “hell in hand basket” after our first flight today.
I should have taken some clues this morning while getting dressed and on the way to the airport. Harper kept saying that he didn’t want to go on an airplane. But, these days you just chalk those comments up to a 2 year old being indecisive. One minute he says he likes something and in the very next breath he doesn’t want anything to do with it. That goes for anything from shoes, to food, to people to places. So, saying he didn’t want to go on an airplane felt like one of those moments.
For those of you who haven’t ever had a 2 year old or never plan to have a 2 year old, I have to first provide you with a bit of foundational information that will allow you to understand a 2 year old mind. Harper is now at an age where he has a vocabulary large enough that he can express most things he wants (or doesn’t). He also is VERY indecisive and VERY impatient and his moods can turn on a dime. If he were an adult, they would surely classify him has bipolar. But, apparently this is all normal when you are 2. The smallest thing can be taken the wrong way and a long drawn out melt down occurs. Then without notice he could see something funny or interesting and his tears will be as dry as the desert heat and he will be belly laughing. So, Matt and I never know what to expect at any given minute.
So, today’s story goes something like this….. Now that we have two kids, we generally have to split up on the plane due to how oxygen masks are placed throughout the cabin. So, this alone flips Harper’s world upside down. On this occasion, Matt and Collier were sitting directly behind Harper and I. As everyone was seated and the cabin door is closed, Harper decides take-off looks to be inevitable and his 2 year old brain started to churn to see how he could put the brakes on this particular occasion. There is an empty seat between us and a random middle aged man who looks like he just lost his winning lottery ticket when he sees that his seat is right by us. Harper gets creeped out by him and decides he doesn’t want to sit in the empty seat and also decides that he is a 2 year old “big boy” and doesn’t want to sit on my lap. So, it is no exaggeration that he threw the biggest tantrum of his life. For what felt like an hour (but really was like 3 minutes) he screamed to the top of his lungs, and flailed and wiggled like a wet fish. He was begging “please mommy, please – I want my daddy”. I was trying to use all my patient mom tactics but NOTHING was working. I don’t think he would have screamed any louder if I would have been inserting needles under each of his fingernails and toenails. You could slice the tension in the air. I know that people felt for us but I think they were all worried that somehow this tantrum might delay the flight and if that were going to be the case every single person was going to move from empathy to anarchy in 2.7 seconds. The nice gentleman in front of us handed me a clip board full of blank paper with a pen and very nicely said “Do you think he wants to draw?” In my mind, I am thinking “are you kidding me – does he sound like he wants to draw? Would you offer a rabid dog who is foaming at the mouth a bone?”. Let me just paint a picture of how bad this scenario got before it go better: If Harper were an adult, the pilot would have called the FBI to the plane with guns drawn and they would have drug his butt off the plane and shipped him to Guantanamo Bay with the rest of the world’s most dangerous terrorists. Other parents who had young children onboard would not even give us a courtesy stare of “I’ve been there.”
Once it was obvious that nothing was going to calm him shy of giving him a tranquilizer, I decided to see if Matt would trade in hopes that Harper was really serious that he wanted Matt. I was honestly afraid that this was a tactic that he would use to prolong this miserable event. But, as soon as he was over the seat, his tears ceased and he was laughing and coloring in his Backyardigans coloring book within seconds.
When stressful situations like this occurred before having a 2 year old, I would have needed days to decompress, I would have probably needed therapy to get through the event. But, we have learned to go with the flow and realize that emotions change on a dime. Believe it or not, by the time we reached 10,000 feet, Harper said “Hey mommy – I’m sorry”. For those of you who don’t understand how to process this type of behavior, it is like having someone beat the crap out of you and then turn around and offer you a hug. But, since he is my little monster, I smiled and said – I forgive you buddy! But, I must say, I never was comfortable enough to bring out my book during flight and read it. Since the title was “Raising Resilient Children”, I was sure that everyone on the plane would just look at me and tell me to give up and throw in the flag.
I should have taken some clues this morning while getting dressed and on the way to the airport. Harper kept saying that he didn’t want to go on an airplane. But, these days you just chalk those comments up to a 2 year old being indecisive. One minute he says he likes something and in the very next breath he doesn’t want anything to do with it. That goes for anything from shoes, to food, to people to places. So, saying he didn’t want to go on an airplane felt like one of those moments.
For those of you who haven’t ever had a 2 year old or never plan to have a 2 year old, I have to first provide you with a bit of foundational information that will allow you to understand a 2 year old mind. Harper is now at an age where he has a vocabulary large enough that he can express most things he wants (or doesn’t). He also is VERY indecisive and VERY impatient and his moods can turn on a dime. If he were an adult, they would surely classify him has bipolar. But, apparently this is all normal when you are 2. The smallest thing can be taken the wrong way and a long drawn out melt down occurs. Then without notice he could see something funny or interesting and his tears will be as dry as the desert heat and he will be belly laughing. So, Matt and I never know what to expect at any given minute.
So, today’s story goes something like this….. Now that we have two kids, we generally have to split up on the plane due to how oxygen masks are placed throughout the cabin. So, this alone flips Harper’s world upside down. On this occasion, Matt and Collier were sitting directly behind Harper and I. As everyone was seated and the cabin door is closed, Harper decides take-off looks to be inevitable and his 2 year old brain started to churn to see how he could put the brakes on this particular occasion. There is an empty seat between us and a random middle aged man who looks like he just lost his winning lottery ticket when he sees that his seat is right by us. Harper gets creeped out by him and decides he doesn’t want to sit in the empty seat and also decides that he is a 2 year old “big boy” and doesn’t want to sit on my lap. So, it is no exaggeration that he threw the biggest tantrum of his life. For what felt like an hour (but really was like 3 minutes) he screamed to the top of his lungs, and flailed and wiggled like a wet fish. He was begging “please mommy, please – I want my daddy”. I was trying to use all my patient mom tactics but NOTHING was working. I don’t think he would have screamed any louder if I would have been inserting needles under each of his fingernails and toenails. You could slice the tension in the air. I know that people felt for us but I think they were all worried that somehow this tantrum might delay the flight and if that were going to be the case every single person was going to move from empathy to anarchy in 2.7 seconds. The nice gentleman in front of us handed me a clip board full of blank paper with a pen and very nicely said “Do you think he wants to draw?” In my mind, I am thinking “are you kidding me – does he sound like he wants to draw? Would you offer a rabid dog who is foaming at the mouth a bone?”. Let me just paint a picture of how bad this scenario got before it go better: If Harper were an adult, the pilot would have called the FBI to the plane with guns drawn and they would have drug his butt off the plane and shipped him to Guantanamo Bay with the rest of the world’s most dangerous terrorists. Other parents who had young children onboard would not even give us a courtesy stare of “I’ve been there.”
Once it was obvious that nothing was going to calm him shy of giving him a tranquilizer, I decided to see if Matt would trade in hopes that Harper was really serious that he wanted Matt. I was honestly afraid that this was a tactic that he would use to prolong this miserable event. But, as soon as he was over the seat, his tears ceased and he was laughing and coloring in his Backyardigans coloring book within seconds.
When stressful situations like this occurred before having a 2 year old, I would have needed days to decompress, I would have probably needed therapy to get through the event. But, we have learned to go with the flow and realize that emotions change on a dime. Believe it or not, by the time we reached 10,000 feet, Harper said “Hey mommy – I’m sorry”. For those of you who don’t understand how to process this type of behavior, it is like having someone beat the crap out of you and then turn around and offer you a hug. But, since he is my little monster, I smiled and said – I forgive you buddy! But, I must say, I never was comfortable enough to bring out my book during flight and read it. Since the title was “Raising Resilient Children”, I was sure that everyone on the plane would just look at me and tell me to give up and throw in the flag.
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