Boy how things change when you have children. It seems like such a cliché statement but every word of the sentence is true. Matt and I went on a long overdue date this weekend and I realized that we are so out of tune with our “old” lifestyle. We have left our DINK way of life (Double Income No Kids). Prior to having Harper it was not uncommon for us to eat dinner out 4-5 nights per week. We knew all of the great hotspots and most weekends our evenings didn’t even get started until after 8 or 9 pm. We never batted an eye on menu prices or drink prices. Now, most of the time, I am reading the backs of my eyelids by 9pm and we are looking for the early bird specials!
Matt’s parents were very gracious to give us a night off while Matt and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for an early Valentine’s Day dinner. A place that we use to be persistent customers and even use to receive complimentary gift certificates because we accumulated lots of frequent diner points for eating there so often. Because the place gets packed on the weekends, we left our house around 5:45 pm eager to have a night out alone. Even at this early of an hour, we arrived with a 1 ½ hour wait. Back in the day, we would have gone to back to the bar for a few drinks with friends and the time would have passed by so quickly. But, these days our patience level for waiting so long wasn’t what it use to be. So, we opted for first come, first serve counter seating after about 15 minutes – which is a great place to people watch and get good ideas for what to order.
After browsing the menu, we both had selected our favorites – I got fresh Halibut with rice and clam chowder and Matt got fried jumbo shrimp with salad and rice. Although price did jump off the page more so than in the past, we vowed to not think about money since it had been so long since we had treated ourselves to a nice night out. Since we were so early for dinner, we were able to take advantage of the early bird pricing anyway which was a nice surprise.
We had so much fun talking and laughing without having to worry about keeping Harper seated in his high chair or having to entertain him while the other one did the talking. Although, most of the time, we found that our conversation centered on Harper and BB – but, it was still nice to have an uninterrupted conversation.
When our dinner arrived, our conversation nearly ceased and we put almost 100% focus on eating our delicious meal. After 20 or so minutes we both looked up and realized that we had eaten every morsel of food on our plates. We laughed and chalked it up to the fact that it had been a VERY long time since we had had a meal that was so good. Normally we would have split our favorite dessert – Raspberry Almond Torte – but instead, we opted to get our own because after all, it was a special occasion and we were both in no mood to share. As with dinner, the only thing left on our dessert plates were crumbs. I’m sure our waitress must have thought that neither of us had eaten in a few days – or maybe we just had that look of a socially deprived parent on our faces.
After paying the bill, we realized it was only 7:20 pm! What were we going to do with a few hours to kill? A few years ago, we would have felt that the night was young and we would have had a list a mile long of things that we could do. But instead, we were like two awkward adults in a foreign land – what do we do, where do we go? Had it really been that long since we had a night out that we had totally forgotten what adults do without children? After driving around for a bit, we decided to go walk around at the outdoor shopping mall and visit the bookstore. Once there, we were like two lost pups trying to find our way around the dark. The bookstore seemed odd since neither of us have picked up a book without rhyming sentences or Sesame Street characters in a long time. We both wandered aimlessly in and out of the aisles trying to find something to catch our attention – of course, I found myself spending most of the time at the children’s table trying to see which of the books Harper didn’t own yet.
By about 8:30, we were both so tired that we decided to call it a night. Plus, walking around on concrete is not what I call fun now that I am at the end of the second trimester. Between my back hurting and my eyelids becoming heavy we decided to return home. It was fun having a night out together, but we did realize that nothing will ever be the same. We are motivated by different things, our priorities are in a different place and our minds our consumed by our children (both born and unborn). We see the world through a different set of lenses – yet it is fun to cherish some time alone on occasions such as these but it is also fun to return home and wrap your arms around your little one (even when they are sleeping!).
When people tell you that life will be different, they are so right and yet you could have never predicted how. But, I think “different” is defined by each individual and you will never know what “different” will be until you are there. I am the first to admit that our lives are now very kid-centered, but I also won’t lie that a little alone time with Matt is a much needed treasure every now and again. But, like most parents will tell you, your thoughts and conversation while you are alone still seem to gravitate back to the kids. So, I guess this is our new reality of a date or time alone…. Different but honestly it seems more fulfilling!
In closing I thought I would give a brief update of how the pregnancy is going. I am now going into my 27th week and I feel like my spine has been replaced by a steel rod, my inner thighs feel like I have been doing splits all day and my heartburn feels as if someone dropped an alcohol soaked rag down in my gut. Other than that, BB is still active as ever – I swear he is going to be a rambunctious and active child because he is continually providing swift kicks throughout the day – especially when I eat something sugary (which is with most of my meals!). It is becoming harder to get a good nights rest and even harder to “hip” Harper with my big belly pooching out. I’m starting to look like a barefoot and pregnant stereotype. But, my spirits are high, my attitude is good and most importantly I think we have settled on a name. If you will recall in a previous blog, the only name we could agree on was one that we would be “stealing” from another child at Harper’s daycare. I am happy to report that I ran into the mother today and asked for her permission in using the name. To my surprise, she was happy to share and she even provided me with the name’s origin and meaning. I almost felt like I got a bargain on that one. The name is under wraps for now – I think we might keep it a surprise. But, if you know me – I hate surprises and secrets so who knows I might have to share in the coming weeks!
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