Monday, November 06, 2006

15 Things that Change When You Have a Baby

This is week 13 and the buttons on my pants are working overtime! I think I only have a small window of time left before the stretchy band pants come out. At this point I think I will welcome them with open arms - I will be able to sit down without having to worry if the seams are going to bust. Not to mention that I will probably be getting more oxygen to my brain... I wonder if that is why I am so forgetful and ditzy? Maybe I am oxygen deprived!!!

If you are at all interested, you can click on the link here to see BB's progression for the week. According to babycenter.com, he/she is the size of a jumbo shrimp. Not to mention that BB probably closely resembles the shrimp as well:

http://www.babycenter.com/general/1498245.html

I have been surprised at the interest level in the blog - my mom is a dedicated fan and has told me that she goes in every morning and clicks on all the ads so that I can make some money. I wish everyone was this dedicated because I would probably be rich. But, what can you expect from your mom - she would probably read this even if the topic was something crazy like "my various rashes and how I deal with the itching". I have even had several people let me know to add other people to the list because they have forwarded it on... so, I guess all of this writing isn't necessarily in vain.

Since the only thing that is happening in the pregnancy at week 13 is my continual weigh gain and my insatiable appetite, I thought I would borrow another list that I got this week from my favorite website... babycenter.com. This week I got a list that another mother wrote of "Things that Change When You Have a Baby". Some I agree with... some I don't. But, I thought I would share for the purpose of reminding all of those parents whose kids are older, reinforcing for those who have kids who are younger and a matter of warning for those who haven't had children yet - maybe it will be motivation to have kids or maybe it will be motivation to continue practicing safe sex and/or religiously taking your birth control!

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

This one is obvious because if I were looking at myself more I wouldn’t have cancelled my hair appointment. Right now, my true colors are showing - literally. I have about 2 inches of dark sprouting that doesn’t really complement the blond that I have been trying to be for the last several years.

2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

So true. Having a baby does make you stop and appreciate the little things that we tend to not make time for in our adult lives. The other day, Harper became enthralled with the water flowing out of the rain gutter on a yucky wet day. Without his excitement, I probably would not have noticed. But, he was so thrilled and wanted to splash his hands through the water that I was forced to watch and actually realized how fun getting a little wet can be. Seeing him smile, laugh, point and utter words that are still uninterruptible was the best part!

3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.

These days I watch the news and read the paper very differently. My heart aches like never before for parents who experience hardship, loss and tragedy with their little ones. Before having a child, I scanned these articles just like I scanned any other thing that didn’t touch my life. But, now, I worry about being a good parent, exposing my child to environmental toxins, teaching them the right lessons, child predators, illness and many other things that are totally out of my control.


4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated.

You are definitely less self-involved but I wouldn’t go as far as you are self-motivated. Before having Harper, I religiously had a pedicure once per month and had my toes repainted every other week. These days I am walking around with residual red polish from back in the summer – not to mention that I am lucky if I shave my legs once per month (sorry, I know this is probably too much information for many of you, but I only speak the truth). I think if I were more self-motivated I would have lost that 7.8 pounds that hung around a whole year after Harper was born. Do you know how many times I said to myself that I was going to start a diet on Monday? Matter of fact, I joined Weight Watcher’s once and only made it to two meetings….. I wouldn’t exactly call that self-motivated.

5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

Actually it does still seem like sacrifices, but they are worth it. People are kidding you if they tell you that you will just get use to the extra expense. I’m not sure that you ever get use to it, but you just learn to deal with it and you realize that the extra expense is worth it. I am already looking forward to sending the kids to public school and getting a “raise” when we no longer have to pay for daycare – that one really hits you in the gut!

6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for baby-making!)

This was obviously written by a person who was skinny before they had a baby and was back in their regular clothes a week after delivering. I don’t think I would say I “respect” the love handles, stretch marks and extra 7.8 pounds that I did not lose prior to getting pregnant again. Hooray for baby making but boo hoo on the damage it does to the body!

7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.

I think I have always had this problem. Having a child hasn’t done much in changing it.

8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (Hooray for grandparents!)

True. Actually Matt and I catch ourselves on occasion doing or saying something that our parents did to us and then laugh and say “OH MY GOSH… WE ARE OUR PARENTS”. I sort of felt guilty when mom told me a couple of months ago that she had me, Lorie and Ashley and never owned a stroller! These days we would probably take up a collection or call social services for a mom walking around with a 6 year old, 4 year old and a new born with no stroller …. Not to mention that none of us had a car seat or even buckled in. I bet one of us held the newborn while mom drove.


9. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for the tooth fairy!)

Christmas is actually fun again. Considering that Matt and I are two big kids at heart, I feel like we get to experience our childhood over – except we are having to pay for it rather than mom and dad! I really get into the hoopla that surrounds each of the holidays – this is probably one of the most fun things about having a kid.

10. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago.

Enough said….. some people are just no longer worth the energy. You learn to prioritize the most important things.


11. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

Call me weird but I think it is still repulsive. I think the mother who wrote this must have had a child who was plagued with chronic constipation so having her child have a bowel movement was a blessing. I don’t think Matt or I have ever said “hooray for poop!” We do the “rock, paper, scissors” trick to decide who the unlucky person will be to change the diaper.

12. You think before you speak.

You probably begin doing more of this when your child can repeat what you have said. I remind Matt all the time that both of our moms will kill us when Harper says a “four letter word” that isn’t poop, darn, or fart. Plus, we will have to stop talking about our crazy relatives and the oddly dressed person in the grocery store because I have heard that kids can be like a talking parakeet. We are working on this!

13. You become a morning person. (Hooray for watching the sun rise!)

Unfortunately sleeping-in these days is not an option. This issue is probably exacerbated just a bit since Harper sleeps with us. How can you sleep when Harper begins yelling “DaDa” at 6am. Even when Matt tries to ignore him, Harper whacks Matt in the nose and continues to yell “dada, dada, dada”. He has recently become fascinated with sticking his finger up your nose as well – hard to sleep under these conditions, so you just give up around 6:04 am. Half the time on Saturdays and Sundays we have had breakfast, coffee, done all of our errands and Harper has already had a quick morning nap by 9am.

14. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Hooray for all men!)

Yes you do – especially if you are the only female in the house. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for Matt’s mom – I don’t know how you ever kept your sanity. I am now having to be modest in my own house and I only have a one year old. Harper has recently discovered that the female body is different than his and daddy’s – like every other boy he has noticed boobs! I now have to be conscious about changing in front of him because he points and says “da” and laughs. I have no clue what his tiny brain is thinking but I guess boys will be boys.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

Any parent knows this to be true. Who knew that you could hold so much love in your heart for one little being. You love them even when they wake you at 3 in the morning crying, when there is snot all of your shirt before you have even gone to work, when they crush goldfish crackers into tiny pieces into the carpet, when you change their diaper and they poop only two seconds after you have put on the new one and when they give you an open mouth kiss before they have even chewed up half of their lunch!

We are learning to appreciate every little annoying thing because before you know it they won’t need you anymore and you will only wish that they were still small enough to sleep with you or rock them to sleep in your arms. These are the greatest things about being a parent…. There is no other time in your life where you are needed, wanted and loved by another person who thinks you are the absolute best!

Until next time.....

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