Counting Down the Days....

Even before the kids were born, Matt's mom has always gotten Matt and I each an advent calendar with cardboard doors that houses little pieces of chocolate behind each of the days in December leading up to Christmas. I think Matt looks forward to this almost more than any present he gets. Since we have been together this is one ritual that I can honestly say he practices religiously. From December 1st through the 25th, there is never a morning that is missed to get his tiny chocolate surprise. This year is the first year that Harper can comprehend the tradition as well - mainly because it is the only time he is allowed to have chocolate before going to school and trust me, he relishes the opportunity.

As I have witnessed this annual tradition over the last 10 days, I am concerned that I am going to have my hands full for many years to come. This is a quick run down of the morning advent calendar ritual....

*As with the previous 10 days, we use the advent chocolate to entice Harper out the door.
*As with the previous 10 days, one piece of chocolate doesn't seem to suffice so he cons my piece of chocolate as well. But, today we realize that I had inadvertently skipped a couple of days so Harper is able to score 3 pieces of chocolate. Not wanting to stop at 3, Harper reaches for Matt's advent calendar to try and swipe his chocolate.
*From Harper's bedroom, all I hear is "No, Harper that is mine. You can't have daddy's chocolate - you already had yours." Screaming and wailing comes from the kitchen. I don't even want to know whose cries they were and who ended up scoring the candy!

I'm sure you can understand why I am counting down the days....and it isn't for the chocolate.

p.s.

Also thought I would share a picture of Harper and Collier in action. They really are starting to enjoy each other. Everytime I think Harper is hurting Collier, all I can see is the biggest grin on Collier's face.  It truly is a sight to be seen!

The Real Meaning of Christmas

Like most Americans, we spent the weekend putting up our Christmas decorations. Among those was a kid's nativity set that Harper received from his grandparents last year as a gift. We pulled it out first so that Harper could play with it while we were decorating the house. He had great fun playing with it, but we realized quickly that we need to either start going to church or share the real meaning of Christmas when Harper came to us after misplacing the Christ Child from the set. He said, "Mommy, I can't find Baby Dangerous". I swear we told him his name was Jesus but I guess that is the way his 2 year old mind interpreted it.

Throwing in the Flag

We have flown fairly regularly since the kids were born and for the most part, those flights have been fairly easy with no major tantrums. Yes, they are often inconvenient and stressful due to all the crap we have to bring and trying to diaper the kids mid-flight in a room the size of a linen closet, but I have been very pleased that after each flight people always comment how well Harper (and most recently) Collier have behaved on the flights. Well, that notion just went to “hell in hand basket” after our first flight today.

I should have taken some clues this morning while getting dressed and on the way to the airport. Harper kept saying that he didn’t want to go on an airplane. But, these days you just chalk those comments up to a 2 year old being indecisive. One minute he says he likes something and in the very next breath he doesn’t want anything to do with it. That goes for anything from shoes, to food, to people to places. So, saying he didn’t want to go on an airplane felt like one of those moments.

For those of you who haven’t ever had a 2 year old or never plan to have a 2 year old, I have to first provide you with a bit of foundational information that will allow you to understand a 2 year old mind. Harper is now at an age where he has a vocabulary large enough that he can express most things he wants (or doesn’t). He also is VERY indecisive and VERY impatient and his moods can turn on a dime. If he were an adult, they would surely classify him has bipolar. But, apparently this is all normal when you are 2. The smallest thing can be taken the wrong way and a long drawn out melt down occurs. Then without notice he could see something funny or interesting and his tears will be as dry as the desert heat and he will be belly laughing. So, Matt and I never know what to expect at any given minute.

So, today’s story goes something like this….. Now that we have two kids, we generally have to split up on the plane due to how oxygen masks are placed throughout the cabin. So, this alone flips Harper’s world upside down. On this occasion, Matt and Collier were sitting directly behind Harper and I. As everyone was seated and the cabin door is closed, Harper decides take-off looks to be inevitable and his 2 year old brain started to churn to see how he could put the brakes on this particular occasion. There is an empty seat between us and a random middle aged man who looks like he just lost his winning lottery ticket when he sees that his seat is right by us. Harper gets creeped out by him and decides he doesn’t want to sit in the empty seat and also decides that he is a 2 year old “big boy” and doesn’t want to sit on my lap. So, it is no exaggeration that he threw the biggest tantrum of his life. For what felt like an hour (but really was like 3 minutes) he screamed to the top of his lungs, and flailed and wiggled like a wet fish. He was begging “please mommy, please – I want my daddy”. I was trying to use all my patient mom tactics but NOTHING was working. I don’t think he would have screamed any louder if I would have been inserting needles under each of his fingernails and toenails. You could slice the tension in the air. I know that people felt for us but I think they were all worried that somehow this tantrum might delay the flight and if that were going to be the case every single person was going to move from empathy to anarchy in 2.7 seconds. The nice gentleman in front of us handed me a clip board full of blank paper with a pen and very nicely said “Do you think he wants to draw?” In my mind, I am thinking “are you kidding me – does he sound like he wants to draw? Would you offer a rabid dog who is foaming at the mouth a bone?”. Let me just paint a picture of how bad this scenario got before it go better: If Harper were an adult, the pilot would have called the FBI to the plane with guns drawn and they would have drug his butt off the plane and shipped him to Guantanamo Bay with the rest of the world’s most dangerous terrorists. Other parents who had young children onboard would not even give us a courtesy stare of “I’ve been there.”

Once it was obvious that nothing was going to calm him shy of giving him a tranquilizer, I decided to see if Matt would trade in hopes that Harper was really serious that he wanted Matt. I was honestly afraid that this was a tactic that he would use to prolong this miserable event. But, as soon as he was over the seat, his tears ceased and he was laughing and coloring in his Backyardigans coloring book within seconds.

When stressful situations like this occurred before having a 2 year old, I would have needed days to decompress, I would have probably needed therapy to get through the event. But, we have learned to go with the flow and realize that emotions change on a dime. Believe it or not, by the time we reached 10,000 feet, Harper said “Hey mommy – I’m sorry”. For those of you who don’t understand how to process this type of behavior, it is like having someone beat the crap out of you and then turn around and offer you a hug. But, since he is my little monster, I smiled and said – I forgive you buddy! But, I must say, I never was comfortable enough to bring out my book during flight and read it. Since the title was “Raising Resilient Children”, I was sure that everyone on the plane would just look at me and tell me to give up and throw in the flag.

Cheap Forms of Entertainment

I'll keep this posting short because the video clip and pictures should tell you all that you want to know.

As you will see in the video clip, there is a bit of personal freedom on the horizon as the boys begin to amuse and entertain each other. Harper just seems to enjoy that someone laughs at his every move incessantly. I see a class clown on the horizon. Most importantly, we feel we are finally getting our money's worth out of the crib. I don't think it has ever been used so much.

As for the pictures - this is another adventure into Harper's world. On our ride home yesterday he said that he wanted his hair to be blue and wanted to paint his face like a clown. So, how much more fun could a Friday night be? We headed to K-mart for some Halloween supplies and WHA-LA .... sheer happiness for the rest of the evening. As you can see, he is the only one who remotely resembles a clown and the rest of us just look like pieces of scrap paper that he has scribbled on. The last picture is him in his real Halloween costume that we ordered 2 weeks ago. He wore it so much the first few days that it already has a hole in it. He might be the only kid that will need his Halloween costume repaired before Halloween because of so much wear and tear. We can't help to wonder who is the craziest - Harper for his "out there" imagination or his parents who feed into his desires. Either way - it offers cheap entertainment!


Enjoy!

Click Below to View Video Clip:

VIDEO CLIP





p.s. Sorry I can't figure out how to rotate this pic on the blog - but I'm sure you can get the idea!

A Sight for Sore Eyes

This weekend we drove to Moab, Utah for the wedding of our close friends - Spence and Margarita. The 3 1/2 hour drive was stretched over 5 hours to offer necessary breaks for eating, diaper changes and stretches. Overall, the trip was very bearable and MUCH less painful than we had prepared ourselves for.

One main reason for the ease in the trip was the decision to bring along the portable DVD (or DVD We-We as Harper refers to it) that Nanna and Papaw so graciously got him for Christmas. I think we could have driven to New York City and back and Harper would have never noticed that we were still in the car. What a lifesaver...I highly recommend it to any desperate parent.

Collier was content as long as his belly was full. But, as soon as his body had expended the last bit of energy from mama's milk he went from happy baby to "get me the hell out of this carseat NOW!"

If you have ever driven to Moab from Salt Lake, you know that your choice for eating is limited once you are out of the Wasatch Front (Provo area). The halfway point is Price, UT - a tiny cowboy town with fast food places. Then, once you pass Price, you have to wait until you get to Moab for almost anything - including gas, food, houses and life in general. So, we made our lunch pit stop in Price. Hmmmmm..... what should we eat - McDonalds, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Subway (in other words YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, and more YUCK).

Since Collier was screaming to the top of his lungs we pulled off to eat at the closest restaurant to the freeway - which happened to be Wendy's. We walk in and notice a family that looks as if they are hauling around a preschool class. But, it doesn't take long to figure it out that they are a typical LARGE UTAH family of 9..... yes, you are reading this correctly NINE! Seven kids probably all under the age of 11 years old - three boys and four girls.

One thing I learned about Harper during this eating extravaganza is that he is more like his mother every single day. Neither Harper nor I could concentrate on eating our meal because we both were staring at this family as if they were from Mars. Matt and Collier stood in line behind the mom and dad of the family and ordered our meal while Harper and I watched their kids as if we were being paid to do so.

You know what was most baffling - they were so well behaved. In my mind I was expecting them to tear the restaurant apart at any minute, to lay down in the floor and throw the biggest tantrum, for each of them to argue and bicker over nothing and scream and cry at the drop of the hat. But, nothing of that sort ever happened. No, the two older kids (a boy and girl) sat at a table with the youngest child which was about 8 months old. The girl played surrogate mother - bouncing the baby on her knee and feeding him as if she had birthed this baby on her own. She was so confident in her mothering skills that I would have taken her home in a heartbeat and let her be my nanny. Matter of fact, I thought about going over to the table and offering free room and board along with the guarntee of cable TV and an occasional trip to the mall but I thought I would have to take the whole "fam damily" including the mother. So, I just watched.

Another table had the 4 smaller kids that ranged in aged from 1 1/2 to 7. The were just sitting there politely waiting on their food as if they knew that Jesus himself was watching them.

When Matt decided to interrupt mine and Harper's peep show by bringing our food, he offered some entertaining info that the couple had spent almost $70 at Wendy's. Wow, I was impressed that they even decided to buy every kid who had teeth something to eat. Kudos to them... had it been me I would have probably bought 4 kid's meals and split them. So, this must have been a special occasion.

As we sat and ate our meals, we continued to watch this family in action - mainly Harper and I. Dad and Mom bring over several trays of food containing 6 kids meals and food for the parents. It took two trays to just carry the drinks. Everything was so organized and almost rehearsed. They had less chaos passing out 6 hamburgers, 6 orders of fries, 6 frosties and 6 drinks than we did for 1 kids meal. Dad fished into each bag individually and delivered the meal to the respective child. It was like an assembly line. Not one child moaned that they didn't have their food yet. They sat patiently, waiting their turn. After emptying each bag, the dad would place the kids meal prize in a separate location and fold the bag neatly. I could only wonder if he was saving the toys for after mealtime or if he was going to sneak them out without their knowing and use them for stocking stuffers. I am confident that either way, the kids would have never complained. I imagined that he was going to use the leftover kids meal bags as lunch sacks for the coming week- I know it seems far fetched for someone like myself, but they were just that type of family. I bet they never waste anything.

As we finished up our meal, the family still hadn't completed the process of handing out everyone's lunch. I was exhausted just watching the process. But, there was part of me that wanted to go and ask the mother if I could get their phone number to see if she could offer some advice for my tiny family of four but I didn't want to mess up their rhythm.

We walked out the door and headed on our way to Moab - thankful that we weren't having to drive a BMW (Big Mormon Wagon for those who don't live in Utah) full of kids. Thankful that we didn't have to spend $70 for lunch at a fast food joint and thankful that our entire family could fit in one hotel room-in one king size bed. But, I couldn't help but wonder how they do it and make it look so easy. I guess I'm just not brave enough go at it 5 more times to find out.

White Trash Moments

There are times in all the madness that there is no other way to feel than just pure white trash..... Let me provide you with 3 scenarios from this week to prove my point:

1. Last weekend Harper was playing on the playground when he was stung by a mosquito just below his eyebrow. Everywhere we went people stared at us as if we beat our children. If you look at the picture below you might agree!



2. Last night we spent $50 in less than an hour at the State Fair.  We made a judgment call that getting a family photo in front of a 500 lb beef cow was somehow priceless.  In addition, we couldn't resist the "pretend you are a carrot photo" for the three boys.  Breastfeeding while watching the horseshow turned even more heads.  I guess it could have been worse if I had decided to "pull up a bale of hay" in the dairy cow exhibit!



3. Third time is a charm....You might be white trash if you spend your Friday night at Wal-mart. Even better, we decide to venture out with the dogs and Harper didn't even have any shoes on. So, to say the least, I stayed in the car while Matt went in the store to pick up some drinks. It wouldn't be a white trash story unless I told you that I was wedged between two car seats in the back seat, the dogs were barking at all the crazies in the parking lot, Harper decides to crap his pants and no longer wants to sit in his car seat because he is now old enough to understand sitting in your own poo is no fun and Collier starts to scream and cry for no understandable reason. By the time Matt got back to the car all hell had broke loose! Like something nutty, I try to calm Collier by nursing him for all the world to see and with no luck for hushing the cry. So, there we are with Collier wailing to the top of his lungs while Matt changes Harper's diaper - who has now also decided to scream and cry for no apparent reason. Did I mention the dogs decided to bust open one of Harper's milk drinks all over the floor and was licking it up like they were having a steak dinner? Let me not fail to mention that during this time I discovered I had not completely covered myself up amongst the chaos, so my boob is exposed for all to see. But, I concluded that it was appropriate for the scenery because there was a lady walking to her car with just as much of her butt exposed and she didn't seem to mind! I'm just really sorry we don't have any photos to share for this moment.

Oh life is so colorful these days! Hope your week was as fun as ours!

If you are interested in seeing more pictures you can click on this link:  

share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0EctGbZmyYsXug

Do My Parents Really Live in the Sticks or What?

As I was going through some pictures from my visit back to VA in July I came across one I had forgotten about but really got a good chuckle from.

Would you believe me if I told you that this was our mode of transportation while back visiting my parents? That is actually a huge exaggeration, but the picture reminds me of an old Little House on the Prairie episode with Laura Ingles and her little brother coming back from town on their horse and buggy. In reality, my parents bought this horse and cart for the kids to "play around with" on their property. I think it makes a better story to say this was our only mode of transportation... don't you?

When you laugh at those kids in public... think of us :)

Have you ever rolled your eyes in public when you have seen a kid in March
dressed in a Halloween costume. Well, you are not alone... we have too!
But, something tells us that Harper is probably going to make those same
demands so the next time I see "one of those kids" in the grocery store, I
am going to know just how those parents feel.

As you will see from the pics. Harper has now resorted to wearing surgical
gloves around. This particular pic is of him sleeping in them, but we has
worn them to daycare and everywhere in between.

The other pic is of Collier. He is just as sweet as the picture shows. How
fun they both are and how different they both are too!

Collier rolled over for the first time yesterday and has really started to
vocalize. It won't be long until he is talking too!

Also, thought we would share a funny quote from Harper today -

We were trying to get him to drink his milk and we were going through a
whole list of family and friends who just "love to drink their milk". He
said "Does Dustin like milk?" I said yes, Dustin loves milk. He said "Does
Becky like milk?. I said yes Becky loves milk. He said "Do airplanes like
milk?" I said no airplanes don't drink milk. He said "yeah airplanes drink
gas!"


Link to pictures:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0EctGbZmyYsXmA

Holey Toldedo - Time Sure Flies

Holy Toledo – I can’t believe it has been 3 months since my last posting. Boy how time flies (I just wish I could shed the baby weight as fast as the time has gone by!). Harper just celebrated his 2nd birthday on August 9th and Collier is officially 3 months old today!

I wasn’t sure if I would continue the blog after the birth of BB (officially known as Collier) but I have heard from many of you that you felt that I dropped the blog like a hot potato. Actually a few of you even said that you felt you were reading a book that never had a proper ending and that I should at least write a final posting. WOW! I am flattered that many of you were reading it so faithfully! So, no promises on where this blog will go, but I will at least give you a 3 month update!

What has changed?

• Balance - Whoever said that adding another kid to the mix isn’t all that bad should be checked for psychosis or drug addiction. In some ways, it truly is double the work – at least right now! The last three months have been a whirlwind of changing hundreds of poopy diapers! The problem with a second one is that someone is always getting the raw end of the deal. As the old saying goes, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” In our situation with the kids, it is the smelliest diaper gets changed first, the loudest cry gets the attention, the dirtiest child gets a bath, and so on and so on. So, it is inevitable that we are forgetting about the needs of one of the kids at any given time. Matt and I are constantly trying to ask each other – “When is the last time that Harper has eaten? Who changed Collier’s diaper last? How many days has it been since either kid has gotten a bath?”. This is not to mention trying to remember when Matt and I have eaten or gone to the bathroom.
• Sleeping Arrangements – As you will recall, prior to Collier’s arrival, Harper saw our bed as his bed. This was the case because he never slept a single night in his crib in his whole life! When Collier came along, we tried a few weeks of all of us sleeping together, but we found that the only ones getting sleep were Collier and the dogs. Everyone else was waking up throughout the night because of Collier’s grunting, feeding sessions or middle of the night diaper changes. So, we have begun to acclimate Harper to his new big boy room with fairly good success. Although this does mean that sometimes Matt will have to go into his room midway through the night and sleep with him to avoid him wanting to come back to our bed (on a couple of occasions though, Harper has tip toed out of the bed and down the hall without Matt’s knowing to sleep with Collier and I – sneaky little guy!).
• Wild man in tummy turns out to be gentle soul – Thankfully Collier is a wonderful baby. I think our stress level would be much higher if he were fussy or cranky. The child has the sweetest personality and hardly ever cries. In addition, he is a wonderful sleeper and has never kept us up even once during the night since he was born. I swear I’m not making this up! He just wakes up long enough to eat and then he is off to sleep (no rocking, bouncing or walking around is necessary). By two months he was already sleeping 5 to 6 hour stretches and as of this past week has slept as long as 8 full hours!
• Where did Harper go? – one of the main differences about having another kid is that your first kid seems to “grow up” as soon as you bring the new baby home. Overnight it seemed like he learned to say everything and do everything. As he approaches “the terrible 2’s”, I am noticing that the angel wings are shedding and a pitchfork has mysteriously appeared in his hands! It is amazing how things can be completely fine one minute and you can be in crisis mode the next – all over something as simple as giving him the wrong spoon (he wants the blue one, not the red one). At this stage, we are learning to become master mind readers and face readers – although that doesn’t always work either. In addition, he has picked up about a zillion new words in his vocabulary so he can definitely tell you when he is not happy. If we aren’t paying attention to him, he will just refer to us as Matt and Heather rather than daddy and mommy! Although he has been excellent with Collier, I think he is taking his aggression and “transitional” behavior out on his friends at daycare. Matt and I are just waiting for the day that we pick him up and they tell us that he has been expelled from the school. I have asked on numerous occasions if they have ever thrown anyone out and they constantly reassure me that they haven’t and that Harper’s behavior is typical for his age and the fact that he has a new brother at home. But, I am constantly looking at the ground as I pass all the other kid’s parents in the hallway in fear that they will corner me because Harper has lashed out at their child. Unfortunately, he has figured out that biting and hitting get him a great deal of attention – even if it is negative! As with everything else though, “this too shall pass!”. If you have any advice outside of sending him to a boarding school, let us know. There are days we feel pretty desperate!
• Traveling with kids sucks! No wonder people go on a strike from traveling until their kids can carry their own luggage! It wasn’t so bad with one, but now that each of us has to have our own child to manage, it becomes a whole new experience. Especially when there are flight delays AND cancellations. We spent about 10 hours in the Atlanta airport during the 4th of July weekend before our flight was finally cancelled. Nothing like going to a hotel to spend the night when you don’t have any luggage! Collier was the only one that didn’t suffer in any way – he slept almost the whole time, had clean diapers, a clean change of clothes and never missed a meal, since I am breastfeeding. Harper had clean diapers but everything else we had to “wing”. Although we are not big fans of loading him with sugar, the only thing we had in the diaper bag was gummy treats and trail mix for most of the day in the airport! After we got to the hotel Matt did walk to a gas station and buy Harper a hot dog which obviously was nowhere close to being nutritious. As you can guess, the ones that suffered the most were Matt and I – no toothbrush, no contact supplies, no comb or brush, no clean clothes or clean underwear…. The list goes on and on. If the flight back east with all of us together wasn’t enough, I was brave enough to extend my trip in VA which required me to fly back by myself with both of the kids….. I could probably write a whole blog on this experience!
• Returning to work from maternity leave wasn’t so bad-This time I was much less anxious about returning to work – actually I was kind of looking forward to it so that I could get back into a structured schedule. It is weird how work has now become my “alone time”. Although it was hard to drop Collier off at school for the first time, at least I knew he was in great hands and I knew that no matter what he would still be happy to see mommy and daddy at the end of the day. We love that Harper and Collier are just down the hall from each other and Harper’s teachers let him visit Collier several times during the day.
• Even with one more, there is enough love to go around- It is amazing the instant bond you feel with a new baby. The love for your kids is endless and unconditional. You care for them the same, you still worry even with the second one. And, I still spent a lot of my time on my maternity leave just watching Collier sleep, holding his little fingers and cradling him for hours at a time. This is all something that I wondered if you would do as much with the second one. But, the miracle of life is still overwhelming enough that it takes your breath away and sometimes all you can do is just stare and be thankful. So, I am happy to report that many hours of my maternity leave were spent doing just this. After all, they grow up so fast, as we have witnessed with Harper, and these moments need to be cherished.

So, as you can see there have been lots of changes. But, one thing still remains the same….We are absolutely in love with being parents and we see our children as gifts that have completely altered our lives for the better. Even among the craziness and stress, one smile, one hug, one kiss or one cuddle can bring it all full circle again.

Until next time……

BB's Coming, BB's Coming!

My last doctor visit was today and I am all scheduled to deliver BB via C-section next Friday (May 11th). As with Harper, it is always weird to think you are choosing your child’s birthday, so we were relieved that the day that we initially picked didn’t work out and Dr. Sharp suggested the 11th. So, I guess we can feel good that some other hand besides ours selected the day he gets to enter the world.

My quest to avoid a C-section was nixed today. For some reason I have great pregnancies but just don’t have that much luck in getting the baby out. I guess I should be thankful for modern technology because who knows what my fate would be if I were living 100 years ago! Even going into my 39th week, I haven’t progressed any as far as the baby moving into my pelvis. BB is nestled just under my rib cage and like Harper seems to have no desire to move anywhere downward. According to Dr. Sharp, “the baby’s position is as high as Keith Richards at a Rolling Stone concert.” I guess you can’t get much higher than that!

My parents are arriving tomorrow evening and I can’t be more excited. The house is a mess and there is tons of laundry to be done – mom told me to leave it until she arrives so I hope she was serious when she said that because we have about 10 loads of laundry just waiting on her! Harper is excited too – every time he sees an airplane or helicopter fly overhead, he says “Nanna and Papaw”.

Today was my last day of work and I am looking forward to almost a week off prior to BB’s arrival to spend with mom and dad and also to try and sleep in a few days. Not to mention, I still have a few loose ends to tie up like buying a few needed baby items and additional nesting.

Given how close I am to having the baby, I am still feeling very good. I think I have less pain than I did with Harper at the end. But, I have been experiencing some carpel tunnel, Charlie horse’s in my legs at night and hot flashes - all symptoms that I had at the end of my first pregnancy as well. My back and hip pain have subsided so that has been a huge relief.

I guess our next email to everyone will be to announce the birth. At this point, the name will be as much of a surprise to us as to everyone else. We have a few that we are thinking of, but nothing is concrete.

Hope all is well and we will update everyone next Friday!

The Dangers of Nesting

Like any animal in preparation for the birth of its young, there is a nesting phase just prior to the arrival. I know it sounds a bit “hocus pocus” but ask any mother who has reached her 36th week and she will validate the realness of the “nesting” phenomenon. It truly is a primal instinct that is unavoidable.

Nesting is the uncontrollable urge to organize, create, and rearrange. Let me emphasize the “uncontrollable” part of this sentence. I have been in the “nesting” phase for the last week or so, but have been unable to act upon my instincts because of work and chasing Harper all evening. My main goal has been to get Harper’s clothes out of the nursery and into his new room and get all of the Harper’s baby clothes out and put them in the drawers in preparation for BB. But, in addition to that, I felt compelled to organize or at least talk about plans to organize and rearrange almost every other facet in our house. Matt would tell you that I only stopped shy of suggesting that we tear down our house and rebuild. Honestly, I was driving him nuts because I was going from room to room suggesting changes, enhancements, alterations and additions that needed to be done in the next week or so. He looked me straight in the eye and said “You are nesting aren’t you?” It hit me at that moment that it had nothing to do with the desire to make changes, it was that primal instinct of walking around in circles, plucking your feathers out and trying to create a nice comfy area for BB.

On Sunday, I was up to my elbows in baby clothes. I had somewhat organized Harper’s clothes as he grew by putting them in plastic Rubbermaid tubs by size. But, in my nesting phase, that wasn’t even good enough. I got every Rubbermaid tub out and went through each stitch of clothing and donated everything that I wasn’t going to use and refolded them to put back in their respective tub. Then I labeled each of the tubs on all 4 sides with the appropriate size. In addition, I recruited Matt’s brother Jake to come over and help Matt with rearranging furniture in both BB’s room and Harper’s room. I wanted them both to have a new feel. I am happy to say that if BB arrived tomorrow, almost everything is done. He would have clean clothes waiting for him and a comfy room (Although I do still have to wash the crib sheets – even though Harper only slept on them a few time in the last 4 months!)

Speaking of nesting, I oddly ended up in a bird store this weekend to look for a few items for the house (I told you my madness did not stop with the baby’s room). We have really been in the bird watching mode lately and I have been trying to attract yellow finches, unsuccessfully. So, I visited our local Bird/Outdoor store to get some ideas. In addition to exotic bird feeds, feeders and the like, they also sell neat yard trinkets, chimes, and books. So, I decided to look around. This is one of those stores where there is not a bare space available and almost too dangerous for a pregnant person to be in. The aisles are slim and the merchandise is jam packed. As I was browsing, something caught my eye on a bottom shelf. I bent down to take a look and gravity took control. I keep forgetting that I am packing 30 extra pounds in the front so my balance is really off! As I bent at the knees, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold my pose for long. Matter of fact, I knew I was going to fall flat onto the floor – I was just trying to think how I could fall to avoid every whirly gig, wind chime, glass mobile and yard art from falling on my head! I managed to swing my arms up and down a few times (probably looking like a bird myself) to maintain my balance just long enough to avoid falling into the indoor fish pond. When I finally hit the floor, I looked around to see if I had an audience. Luckily, I think only the store owner saw me. But, trust me, the look on his face was enough to say it all. I’m sure he was having visions of me going into labor on his store floor. But, I managed to dust myself off and the only thing that was broken was my ego! But, any pregnant woman will tell you that ego gets broken so many times during this stage that I am starting to get use to it!

My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow so we will know more about my progression. I am now in the weekly appointment stage and entering the “not so fun” stage of checkups without your clothes on. Ladies you will know exactly what I am talking about! I will write more as I know it – still no name but working on it!

Where Has Time Gone?

I can’t believe a month has passed by and I haven’t posted any messages on my blog – not only am I losing my mind, but it seems I am also losing track of time! I guess I hadn’t even noticed until many of you have either approached me or emailed me letting me know that you don’t know how I am doing because I haven’t sent out any messages. Then, I assume there are probably many of you who are glad that you haven’t had to read some of the crazy things that have occurred during my pregnancy.

I thought I would just give a quick bulleted list of how things are going and what is new…. So, here it goes:

• I am now in my 34th week of pregnancy – 6 weeks left if I go full term. But, I am hoping more like 4-5 weeks. My belly has completely popped out and I have that lovely “waddle” in my step.

• Since my last posting, I have gained about 5 more pounds – which puts me at about 25 llbs of total weight gain to this point. I am happy to say that this is about 7 lbs less than I gained at the same time in Harper’s pregnancy. I honestly can’t explain the logic because I have been eating sweets with every meal. It seems I have gone from one dessert per day to a dessert per meal.

• Pregnancy is in the water – I swear. So, if you don’t want to get pregnant, you better be drinking something else! Since my last posting, my sister Lorie has announced her unplanned pregnancy and several friends have done the same. I think my mom and dad are overwhelmed with good news. They are going to have 2 new grandbabies this year and their baby daughter is getting married in November. I’m sure Ashley would have preferred to have the spotlight to herself but here Lorie and I go and add some craziness to the mix. The wedding should be fun – two toddlers and two infants and two post partum breastfeeding moms who are probably going to wish they had better figures for the bridesmaid dresses! Our biggest challenge is how to we all get around from a transportation stand point. The days are gone when all of the Collier family can fit in one car. Once we all found significant others, we have gotten use to splitting up into two cars. Then we added 2 babies with car seats and a shit load of gear and we had to start taking three cars. I told dad to start looking into buying a small school bus since now we are adding two more kids with car seats and even more baby stuff! Oh the days of just putting everyone into one car with no seatbelts or car seats sounds so enticing!

• I have officially eaten over 300 TUMS since my pregnancy began. I think I told you in a previous posting that I pop TUMS left and right and carry a bottle of 100 everywhere I go. Well, I have officially finished my 3rd full bottle and have started on several more. I guess the baby is getting some added calcium while I delay my fiery heartburn. Now that I think about it, I wonder if the added calcium has strengthened BB’s legs enough to explain his swift and vicious kicks to my gut all day! This could be like providing Popeye with a boost of spinach 4 or 5 times per day.

• We are being haunted by baby names again. We really thought we had settled on a name but it just hasn’t stuck. Even after asking the mom at daycare for permission to use her son’s name, it still didn’t feel like ours. So, I will tell everyone that the name was Declan since we are no longer using it. Plus, I told mom while I was home and when she called my sister and referred to him as “Dicklin” – I just knew it wasn’t going to work. So, we are back at square one – flipping through the baby name books, reading the credits of movies and TV shows and any other avenue for searching out names.

• I have been going to physical therapy for extreme hip pain and a sciatic nerve problem. I am happy to report that pregnant women don’t have to and shouldn’t suffer with this type of pain. My doctor is a “god-send” along with the physical therapist. I was given a few exercises to do to get things back in line and I feel like a new woman. Honestly I have had less pain this time than with Harper. My previous doctor was a bit old fashioned and kind of took the mind set that all of this pain in the last month was just part of the journey. My new doc is young and specializes in pain management – and he is all about trying to eliminate or reduce unnecessary pain. Plus, who wouldn’t like an occasional deep tissue massage on your butt that is covered by insurance!

Well, that is the overview of my pregnant life to this point. Things are progressing well and I am feeling as good as I can at this point. Mom and dad have booked their flights to be here on the 5th of May. So, I hope BB doesn’t decide to come any earlier. I am looking forward to the help – especially with Harper. Dad is staying a week and mom will be staying for 3 weeks. Then, my sister Lorie is hopefully coming the following week We are all planning to visit VA in early July.

There is still so much to do before BB arrives. I need to finish moving Harper out of the nursery and get all of his baby clothes out and put in drawers for BB. We also want to switch around the nursery to give it a new feel. So much to do, and so little energy to do it! Hope all is well with everyone and I will write again soon!

Buddha Belly

Hello third trimester! That is the latest word from my doctor’s appointment today. In essence I am saying hello to the next 2 months of pain and misery. The first trimester you constantly feel like you have a hangover and you could fall asleep at any moment during the day, then you move to the second trimester where your energy comes back and you are feeling pretty good for a few months. Then, all of a sudden, everything seems to fall apart from the moment you enter the third trimester. It just sort of smacks you in the face!

As I have written in several previous blogs, I knew my back and heartburn were going to be my biggest hassles. And boy have I been right. Last week, BB obviously kicked a nerve or something because I have been walking around like I need total hip replacement for the last 7 or 8 days. Not only have I picked up the 3rd trimester “waddle” that develops at about week 29, but I also slightly resemble a western cowboy who looks like they may have ridden a horse to work rather than a car. Trust me, it isn’t a pretty sight and does nothing for my ego!

Now people no longer wonder if you ARE pregnant, instead they look at you with severe sympathy and say “how much longer do you have left?”. They know that you still have more time than you would like to talk about and are hoping that you will say that you are 10 days overdue – because then the misery on your face would match what you look like walking around.

I have to say, the second time around I feel MORE pregnant at 7 months than I did the first time around. My doctor just explained it as your body is just more stretched out this time and you did add 2 more years to your life between pregnancies. I guess that is a nice way of saying I have turned into old flabby mamma! Just another great thing to think about as you are trying to maintain some dignity!

Dr. Sharp did recommend that I see a physical therapist for my hip pain so I have never been happier to be referred to another medical practitioner for additional care! Maybe it will allow me to stop carrying my heating pad around in my purse (alongside my 100 count bottle of TUMS). I’m going to see if I can’t set up an appointment before Harper and I leave next week to fly back to VA and TN for a visit. It might loosen up my muscles just enough to get me from Salt Lake to Knoxville without having to request wheelchair access.

Other than my hip pain and heartburn, I am otherwise very healthy. I put on an additional 5 lbs between this month and last month. So, now I have officially gained 20lbs. Not bad considering the amount of food that I eat on a daily basis! My blood pressure is still good and BB is wild as ever in my tummy. Matter of fact, Matt and I laughed as we were waiting on Dr. Sharp today because it looked like I had an alien inside me. You could literally see him moving all around – non-stop. I know he was enjoying the 20 oz of pure sugar that I fed him just before my appointment since I had to drink that yucky substance for my glucose test.

The only other news from our end is that I upgraded my VW Jetta to a VW Passatt last week on a whim. Matt dropped me off at the dealership to pick up my car after it had been serviced and I jokingly told him that I was going to trade my car for something bigger. He laughed and said “I dare you.” You would think he would have learned by now that you should never dare a pregnant woman who is shopping deprived. Since I no longer find joy out of shopping for clothes, I obviously have a great deal of pent up needs. So, 2 ½ hours later, I drove home in a 2007 black Passat that was LOADED with all of the extra amenities that any mom with 2 kids in the backseat would need. I only increased my payment by $50 per month. Plus, the added bonus is that I had a great deal of equity in my Jetta and decided to use the extra amount to fund my maternity leave rather than putting it towards the new car. As many of you know, I am taking the last 6 weeks of my maternity leave unpaid because I do not have enough time accrued. So, I feel like I just won the lottery. A new car AND money to fund my entire 6 weeks that I am going unpaid. Haven’t you ever heard that pregnant ladies are good luck. I guess we are a lot like Buddha – just rub our tummies and small miracles might occur!

A New Definition of A Night Out

Boy how things change when you have children. It seems like such a cliché statement but every word of the sentence is true. Matt and I went on a long overdue date this weekend and I realized that we are so out of tune with our “old” lifestyle. We have left our DINK way of life (Double Income No Kids). Prior to having Harper it was not uncommon for us to eat dinner out 4-5 nights per week. We knew all of the great hotspots and most weekends our evenings didn’t even get started until after 8 or 9 pm. We never batted an eye on menu prices or drink prices. Now, most of the time, I am reading the backs of my eyelids by 9pm and we are looking for the early bird specials!

Matt’s parents were very gracious to give us a night off while Matt and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for an early Valentine’s Day dinner. A place that we use to be persistent customers and even use to receive complimentary gift certificates because we accumulated lots of frequent diner points for eating there so often. Because the place gets packed on the weekends, we left our house around 5:45 pm eager to have a night out alone. Even at this early of an hour, we arrived with a 1 ½ hour wait. Back in the day, we would have gone to back to the bar for a few drinks with friends and the time would have passed by so quickly. But, these days our patience level for waiting so long wasn’t what it use to be. So, we opted for first come, first serve counter seating after about 15 minutes – which is a great place to people watch and get good ideas for what to order.

After browsing the menu, we both had selected our favorites – I got fresh Halibut with rice and clam chowder and Matt got fried jumbo shrimp with salad and rice. Although price did jump off the page more so than in the past, we vowed to not think about money since it had been so long since we had treated ourselves to a nice night out. Since we were so early for dinner, we were able to take advantage of the early bird pricing anyway which was a nice surprise.

We had so much fun talking and laughing without having to worry about keeping Harper seated in his high chair or having to entertain him while the other one did the talking. Although, most of the time, we found that our conversation centered on Harper and BB – but, it was still nice to have an uninterrupted conversation.

When our dinner arrived, our conversation nearly ceased and we put almost 100% focus on eating our delicious meal. After 20 or so minutes we both looked up and realized that we had eaten every morsel of food on our plates. We laughed and chalked it up to the fact that it had been a VERY long time since we had had a meal that was so good. Normally we would have split our favorite dessert – Raspberry Almond Torte – but instead, we opted to get our own because after all, it was a special occasion and we were both in no mood to share. As with dinner, the only thing left on our dessert plates were crumbs. I’m sure our waitress must have thought that neither of us had eaten in a few days – or maybe we just had that look of a socially deprived parent on our faces.

After paying the bill, we realized it was only 7:20 pm! What were we going to do with a few hours to kill? A few years ago, we would have felt that the night was young and we would have had a list a mile long of things that we could do. But instead, we were like two awkward adults in a foreign land – what do we do, where do we go? Had it really been that long since we had a night out that we had totally forgotten what adults do without children? After driving around for a bit, we decided to go walk around at the outdoor shopping mall and visit the bookstore. Once there, we were like two lost pups trying to find our way around the dark. The bookstore seemed odd since neither of us have picked up a book without rhyming sentences or Sesame Street characters in a long time. We both wandered aimlessly in and out of the aisles trying to find something to catch our attention – of course, I found myself spending most of the time at the children’s table trying to see which of the books Harper didn’t own yet.

By about 8:30, we were both so tired that we decided to call it a night. Plus, walking around on concrete is not what I call fun now that I am at the end of the second trimester. Between my back hurting and my eyelids becoming heavy we decided to return home. It was fun having a night out together, but we did realize that nothing will ever be the same. We are motivated by different things, our priorities are in a different place and our minds our consumed by our children (both born and unborn). We see the world through a different set of lenses – yet it is fun to cherish some time alone on occasions such as these but it is also fun to return home and wrap your arms around your little one (even when they are sleeping!).

When people tell you that life will be different, they are so right and yet you could have never predicted how. But, I think “different” is defined by each individual and you will never know what “different” will be until you are there. I am the first to admit that our lives are now very kid-centered, but I also won’t lie that a little alone time with Matt is a much needed treasure every now and again. But, like most parents will tell you, your thoughts and conversation while you are alone still seem to gravitate back to the kids. So, I guess this is our new reality of a date or time alone…. Different but honestly it seems more fulfilling!

In closing I thought I would give a brief update of how the pregnancy is going. I am now going into my 27th week and I feel like my spine has been replaced by a steel rod, my inner thighs feel like I have been doing splits all day and my heartburn feels as if someone dropped an alcohol soaked rag down in my gut. Other than that, BB is still active as ever – I swear he is going to be a rambunctious and active child because he is continually providing swift kicks throughout the day – especially when I eat something sugary (which is with most of my meals!). It is becoming harder to get a good nights rest and even harder to “hip” Harper with my big belly pooching out. I’m starting to look like a barefoot and pregnant stereotype. But, my spirits are high, my attitude is good and most importantly I think we have settled on a name. If you will recall in a previous blog, the only name we could agree on was one that we would be “stealing” from another child at Harper’s daycare. I am happy to report that I ran into the mother today and asked for her permission in using the name. To my surprise, she was happy to share and she even provided me with the name’s origin and meaning. I almost felt like I got a bargain on that one. The name is under wraps for now – I think we might keep it a surprise. But, if you know me – I hate surprises and secrets so who knows I might have to share in the coming weeks!

Our Little Samurai!

I have gained 8 pounds in one month. That is roughly 2 pounds per week and trust me, I can feel the difference between this month and last. I am going into my 26th week and have gained a total of 15 pounds. Pretty good considering that BB is already well over a pound and a half himself and over 12 inches long! Of course, the chocolate covered Dove ice-cream bars that I have been eating on occasion has surely contributed to this gain as well. But, they make BB happy so I have to eat them .

This week I had another ultrasound and I also had my monthly doctor’s visit. The ultrasound was great because I was finally able to confirm what I have been saying for the last month and a half. I do have an active and accomplished samurai / acrobat in my belly. The ultrasonographer could not stop laughing during the appointment because BB was putting on such a show! He would do 360 degree turns both sideways and forwards for the entire ½ hour that I was there. So, my perception that I have a baby that is continuously kicking the crap out of my insides is true – I witnessed it on the screen first hand. In addition, BB successfully showed us that he is all boy. About midway through the appointment, he reached down and grabbed his wee-wee. I think he just wanted to remind me that he is full of testosterone! We both had a great chuckle. The sonogram went well and they were able to get all of the appropriate measurements they needed. The ultrasonographer said that in her opinion we have a very healthy and VERY active baby that is developing. Before leaving, she told me to get plenty of rest over the next several months because if her predictions are correct, I am not going to get very much rest after his arrival! Matt and I keep asking ourselves if it is possible that BB could be more active than Harper. I think we are going to have our hands full and constantly be entertained for the next 18 years and beyond!

My doctor’s appointment went very well, too. BB’s heart rate is strong, my blood pressure is great and I am still feeling good given the circumstances. Dr. Sharp did give us a wake up call that this appointment was our last one before I enter my third and final trimester….. UGH – where has time gone! I have one more monthly appointment and then I start seeing the doctor every other week. He also reminded us that, although rare, premature labor can happen and we are entering the time where the baby can live outside of the womb. So, he slipped us the phone number to the University of Utah’s Labor and Deliver along with signs and symptoms to be aware of for premature labor. Although I don’t anticipate needing it anytime soon, I still input it into my cell phone memory just in case.

In ending this week, I wanted to share my most recent embarrassing moment that may or may not be related to pregnancy. But, I would like to think I would be more careful in a “normal” state of mind. Yesterday, I went to our work cafeteria to order a grilled ham and cheese and french fries with fry sauce. (For those of you who do not live in Utah you will probably be saying what the heck is “fry sauce”? Well it is a concoction that Utahans eat with their fries, instead of ketchup, that is pretty damn tasty. When you first move here, you swear that you will never eat it, but ten years later you travel outside of the state and wonder why the rest of the country hasn’t picked up on what a great combo fry sauce is with French fries – it is simply a half and half pinkish mixture of mayonnaise and ketchup that is used for dipping. In some “specialty” restaurants, BBQ sauce and mayo might be used – which is just as tasty.) Sorry for the digression but I thought it warranted an explanation.

Anyway, while waiting on my fries and sandwich I pumped heaping portions of fry sauce into two dipping cups. Once I got my plate, I placed the filled dipping cups on top of my food and headed out to the tables to salt my fries before returning to my office. When I had gone about 10-15 yards to a table to get the salt, two gentleman got my attention from across the room. They said “mam you have fry sauce dripping all down the front of you.” When I looked down, I wanted to laugh, cry and crawl under a table at the same time. Sure enough, I had this pinkish mixture dripping from my belly to my shoes and there was a flow coming from my plate only adding to the current mess. As I tried to keep my composure and get myself cleaned up, another gentleman had gotten up from his seat and was cleaning up the trail of fry sauce that I had left from the cash register to where I was standing. It was everywhere!!!!….. I had this thought that people were probably staring and thinking “the poor pregnant girl – look how clumsy. I guess that is what she deserves for feeding her unborn baby such an “un-nutritionally” balanced meal.”

Once I was able to get myself and the floor cleaned up (with the help of the very nice gentleman), I rushed back to my office to hide. I felt like the biggest, pregnant, messiest slob! I convinced myself that this would have never happened if I weren’t pregnant – and it probably wouldn’t have because I don’t think I could have ever been hungry enough to order food from our yucky cafeteria and I wouldn’t have been greedy enough to try and fill both of my 2 tablespoon dipping cups with 1/3 cups of fry sauce each! Oh well, this is what happens when you are pregnant – food is so enticing that you are oblivious when it is dripping all down your front. You only have one thing on your mind – “I’m starving and when can I eat?” – your dignity seems to be an afterthought!

What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be?

Well before starting into the answer to my question I have to apologize for some incorrect information in my previous blog posting. I have to say I truly appreciate the number of you who are reading and screening my postings for accuracy.

Last week at the end of my blog I said that I have 3 months to go before having the baby. I received several calls and several impromptu conversations questioning my math. Actually, the baby is due in 4 months. For those of you who have been through the process of pregnancy you will understand how I got to this error. All of our lives we are taught that humans have a gestational period of 9 months..right? Well, when you get pregnant, that logic goes out the window – you begin to track your pregnancy on a 10 month calendar (which is based on your LMP – look it up for all the guys who have no clue what LMP is.)

So, I am 24 weeks pregnant this week, which seems to translate to 6 months if Mrs. Short taught me how to multiply correctly. But, I forgot to say that this number is based on the 10 month calendar that you are forced to use when pregnant. So, since I am pregnant for 40 weeks, I still have 16 more weeks to go (roughly about 4 months). The baby shouldn’t actually come in April – instead, my due date remains steadfast at May 17th. I just needed to get that off my chest, just in case any of you decide to quite reading my blog because you think I exaggerate too much!

Now to my question of the week – What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be?

I really had the opportunity to reflect on this over the last week since my parents were here visiting from Virginia. Plus, over the 17 months of parenting Harper, Matt and I have contemplated this very question many times. I think if I were to rewind to early 2005, I would have a very different answer than now. I remember saying “ this baby is coming into our world so it will need to adjust to the things that Matt and I currently do.” WRONG! Before having Harper, we were convinced that we could still have many late nights out with friends, host parties just like we use to and maintain our very active social life. Well, as of August 2005, this notion has changed drastically. Of course, Matt and I could still do all of these things but we have made a conscious choice not to… most of the time.

When you have a child, your life changes. I think those changes are very individual based upon you as a person and the relationship you have with your spouse.

While my parents were here visiting, I had the opportunity to reflect upon my own childhood and have decided that I would like to be a parent much like the way my parents parented me (with a few exceptions!).

Hands On Approach – My parents were both very hands on with us. I don’t ever recall having a babysitter outside of an aunt or grandparent when I was younger. Of course, I see nothing wrong with getting a babysitter on occasion but mom took the approach that there was nothing that couldn’t be done with three kids at your side. Now that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t sometimes difficult, but she loved having us around (and she acts like still does). I have very vivid memories of playing tea party with my mom and her telling us goodnight stories every night before going to bed. When dad wasn’t working, he wanted to make sure that he spent lots of time with us. He taught us how to ride our bikes and let us experience the world with our hands and not just with our eyes. My parents were always comfortable with giving us “public displays of affection” and saying "I love you". Even to this day, there isn’t a time that I get off the phone with mom or dad that they don’t say “I love you”. I saw this with Harper while mom and dad visited. Even when my mom sprained her ankle, she still wanted Harper to stay home from daycare to spend time with them and also to sleep with them at night. They both loved getting on the floor and playing with him at his level. This is one reason that Matt and I try not to make any plans during the week. Since Harper is in daycare all day, we really try hard to devote the rest of the evening playing one on one with him. Our free time is now his time – and we both get so much joy out of our interactions.

Appreciate the Small Things- This probably came out of the fact that we did not have a great deal of extra money when we were younger. My dad worked hard so that my mom could stay home with us, which often meant there wasn’t much room for the extras. But, looking back, some of my fondest memories are all the small things that didn’t cost anything. I remember my parents letting me invite over 10 or so friends to sleep in tents in the backyard and all of us girls getting very scared as soon as it went dark and dad coming out and sleeping in the tent with us. I remember dad hooking up a small wagon to the back of the lawn mower and taking all of us and the neighbor kids with our baby dolls on a “hay ride” and I remember always having bonfires in the backyard where we would roast marshmallows and hotdogs for no special occasion. I think the small things are what we remember. Of course, like any child, Harper has lots of fancy toys, but I think he likes it most when he can play with pots and pans, jump on the bed, and eat snow. I love taking him back to VA where things are a lot simpler and he can feed the animals in the barn, go on hayrides and experience a less fast paced life than he is exposed to on a daily basis in Salt Lake. In our busy world, it is so important to remember to stop and do these things. I truly believe that they build lasting memories and develop creativity.

Open / Honest Relationship- In the Collier house secrets were taboo. My parents probably told us too much rather than too little. Not too long ago, mom and I were talking about families with lots of skeletons in the closet and my mom said the most classic line. She said “you know, we have skeletons in our closet too, but we just take them out and play with them.” That is so true – like any family we have very weird things that have happened and still do but we have always been open and honest. My mom never kept anything from my dad. Of course when we were younger I think I would have preferred that she not share some things with dad – like bad grades or a sassy mouth – but mom always told dad! I like this approach now that I am older – I think openness is a cleansing process. Matt and I have always tried to be like this in our own relationship and want to continue this approach with the kids. I’m sure there will be lots of times where it would be easier for Matt to keep things from me or vice versa but I really think it is so much better to keep everyone in the know.

A Home Filled With Laughter- I truly live by the mantra that “laughter is the best medicine”. Growing up, I always remember sitting around the table with friends and family listening to old stories and laughing a lot. We were even good sports about laughing at ourselves. I have found in my adult life that finding a way to laugh in a difficult situation is one of the best ways to relieve stress. No matter how bad things can get, there is always something funny to be found. While Mom was visiting this past week, she fell down the stairs and sprained her ankle really bad. Now most normal families probably would not think this was funny, but within a ½ hour we were all trying to help mom get through the pain by finding things that were funny with the situation (probably more me than anyone!). Matt and I really want both Harper and BB to be surrounded by laughter and incorporate it in their own lives. So far, Harper is doing a great job because for the past several nights he has even been laughing in his sleep!

A Sparkle in My Eye- Above all, I want Harper and BB to see a sparkle in our eye when they are around. I want them to know they bring so much joy to our lives. Even growing up, I never got the feeling from my parents that they would rather be doing something else when they were with us. I’m sure in the back of their minds, there were many chores to complete, many projects to start and many errands to be run but I never knew it. This is the kind of parent I want to be. I want Harper and BB to know that there is nothing that can’t wait except for the time that we spend with them.

Of course, like everyone, my childhood wasn’t perfect. But as I look back, I really feel that my parents gave me a great foundation and I am who I am because of them. When I was younger I didn’t appreciate the fact that they expected me to do well in school, they wanted to know my friends and what we were doing, they made rules and enforced them and they demanded respect. But, now I see all of the reason why they did it. It built structure, character and independence. I just want to say thanks to mom and dad and I can only hope that my children will look at me as fondly and lovingly as I do both of them.

That is the kind of parent I want to be…….

Feeling a Little Faint

Week 23 and for the most part, I am still feeling really good and trying to enjoy the small luxuries of the second trimester. I did have one interesting spell last week that occurred at the most inopportune time. As I have mentioned in a previous blog posting, I started a new job about a month ago and with any new role, you spend the first few months trying to define yourself in the department and truly understand what your purpose is. During a recent off-site planning meeting (that occurred at my boss’s house), I had a near fainting episode.

The meeting started at 8am and I had shared two pop-tarts with Harper as I was taking him to daycare earlier in the morning – yes, I know, not the breakfast of champions for mother, child or unborn babe – but, they are good, easy to make and Harper and I both love them. Harper actually calls them a “cookie” – which probably accurately defines their nutritional value. When I arrived at our team’s planning meeting, I also helped myself to some grapes and a cinnamon bun to get the meeting started (afterall, I am pregnant and I have told you before that I feel hungry again within ½ hour of eating). Just as we started the meeting, I began to feel really dizzy and uncomfortable. At first, I thought I was experiencing a little bit of anxiety but I kept asking myself “What am I nervous about? Why is my heart racing as if I have just seen a rabid Doberman pincher?” I took a drink of water, adjusted myself in my chair and continued to eat my grapes thinking I could shake the feeling.

My boss was standing up talking about our 2007 goals and the feeling began to intensify. All of a sudden my ears started ringing and my boss started sounding a lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher “waa, whont, waa, whont, waa, whont”. Then, everything started going fuzzy – so I thought I better tell everyone about my situation before I end up on the floor. So, in the middle of her conversation, I yelled out “I THINK I AM GOING TO PASS OUT”. I’m glad I don’t remember what anyone’s reaction was because I’m sure they were wondering what the hell was going on. For some dumb reason, I got up out of my chair and began stumbling like a drunken sailor across her living room floor until I landed (or was assisted – I don’t recall) to her comfy armchair and ottoman. By this time, I felt nauseasous and pale as ghost. Of course everyone had this stunned look on their face and wondered if they should call 911. Thank goodness I had told the rest of the team last week that I was pregnant, just in case there was any misconception regarding the reason I was getting really chunky and enjoying wearing longer shirts that resemble a lamp shade. So, at least, everyone had a frame of reference to understand why this might be happening.

Since I am new in the department and I didn’t want to prolong the disturbance that I had caused, I tried to collect myself and told them I would be okay if I could just get a cold wet wash cloth to put on my face. This seemed to work for a little bit and the meeting carried on with everyone looking over at me in the armchair on occasion to make sure I hadn’t died. I even tried to offer insight in the conversation to assure everyone that I would be fine. But, within about 15 minutes, it happened again and I knew that I was done for the day. For some really unexplainable reason (oh wait, it might be my unstable hormones) – I even started crying and asked someone to get my cellphone so I could call Matt to come get me. I felt like an elementary school kid crying for their mommy to come pick them up. Glad I work for Human Resources because our group is very use to dealing with unstable people on a regular basis – so at least it wasn’t totally foreign to them. But, I am sure that they don’t see their work colleagues cry a lot, so this was something new! I really hope this is not a defining moment of my career.

Because my boss only lives a few blocks from our house, Matt was there in a split second. Of course he was very worried and had me call my doctor. It seems that I might have had a real surge in my blood sugar which caused this reaction. Well, duh, no wonder, I probably ate 10 cups of sugar over the course of the 1st hour of my day. The nurse just told me to lay down for a bit and drink some juice (more sugar!) and see how I felt in an hour or so. Well, I laid down and slept like a baby for almost 3 ½ hours. Not sure if that was a symptom of my current problem or a collective symptom of not having a full night’s sleep since early 2005 or maybe I just enjoyed having the bed all to myself for the first time since October 2005. Either way, I woke up around 1 pm starving and made myself some lunch – so, I knew BB and I were going to be okay.

Luckily, it hasn’t happened again and honestly, I hope it doesn’t (at least in a public setting). Most of all, I think my work colleagues are very understanding and don’t think they have made the most bizarre hire to the department. But, then again, I still have 3 more months to go – who knows what could happen next!

Half Way There

I can’t believe my pregnancy is more than half way over. I am going into my 22nd week and I have gained 7 lbs total. On my last appointment (Friday) I had gained 4 pounds from the previous month. Pretty good for the holidays. I’m starting to wonder if their scales are incorrect because I swear I have been eating LOTS! I haven’t been holding back one bit.

Sorry I haven’t posted for the last couple of weeks but things have been very hectic with the holidays (as all of you probably can attest). Plus, I started my new job and I have been so tired – too much thinking and learning for a 5 month pregnant lady . I have begun to settle into my new position and my tummy is really growing. So even if I wanted to hide the fact that I’m having another, there is no way of doing it! On top of that, once you tell a few key people the news, it spreads like wildfire. I am now completely out of my “normal” clothes and fully into my maternity wardrobe. So, unlike the days of having tons to choose from in my closet, I now just pick between a few items. It really doesn’t make for any excitement in the mornings – but, at least there isn’t much debate about what to wear.

I only have one more monthly appointment and then I start going to the doctor every other week. On January 31st, I will be having another ultrasound. I guess during my previous one, BB was moving around way too much and they were unable to get the measurements they needed for his spine, stomach and heart. Of course the doctor says everything appears to be fine – he has a strong heart beat and his movements are VERY energetic – but it still gives you something to worry about.

Other than that, things are moving along well. I still have heartburn – I have even progressed to popping TUMS before lunch rather than waiting until after I eat. I still have a bit of carpal tunnel and sleeping on my back is nearly impossible because I wake up feeling like what a caveman must have felt like – it takes me several minutes to straighten upright and walk. Food is still the most important thought of my day and I occasionally have a few crying episodes when things don’t go my way – all very common symptoms at this point.

Matt and I have started the tedious task of picking out a name – maybe more me than Matt. Of course I have been scouring through name list after name list and writing down all the names that I like. I read them to Matt and he usually says “NO WAY” more than “YES” or “MAYBE” - I keep telling him that he needs to make a list too but he still feels we have plenty of time…. typical guy! We both wonder what the protocol is for stealing a name of someone that you barely know. We really like the name of a little boy in Harper’s daycare class but know that if we use it, it is going to be obvious we didn’t think of it on our own. It is just unique enough that we could be labeled as thieves. I keep thinking it should be a complement to the mother but you never know about people’s personalities. Some people act as if they have taken a patent out on a name and it can’t be used by anyone else. So, it remains on the “Yes” list as we continue to research what our obligations are to those we don’t even really know (just kidding about this part).

Well, I hope the new year has brought each of you good cheer and you haven’t broken too many of your resolutions. I decided not to make any resolutions this year because I figured I already had too much on my plate and didn’t want to give myself anything more to be stressed about….. although I really need to get cracking on that thesis!